That’s one beautiful man.

Princess Michael is a Kunt.

I hear it all started because someone said someone else couldn’t turn left.

“White House Accuses Outgoing Ethics Chief of Grandstanding in Statement That Misspells His Name”

Not since Lorena Bobbit have we encountered a woman who so efficiently disposed of a Weiner.

Two Corinthians, one cup.

🎶 Just another dick and a wall 🎶

So are we a host when we have a penis inside us? Does that penis belong to us while we are hosting it? Can we do with it whatever we want? Just asking.

We truly are living through the golden age of the man child, aren’t we?

This creep wishes he could be someones huckleberry.

“I’ll give you an A if you let me touch your C’s with my D?”

I really loved Stitches and I don’t think I feel nearly as bad about it as I probably should.

Thanks. You owe me a Xanax.

“We dated a while back, and it was a whole thing”

I hate that you having to preemptively do this is a thing.

Yes, fuck cancer with a chainsaw.

Where did Israel and Palestine get peace?