I’m just warning people who don’t have 20 minutes to invest in a Taylor Dane joke. It’s a public service.

Lincoln (and Ethan Allen) knew how to deal with British royalty.

God Tig Notaro has the slowest delivery. Her jokes may be funny but I’ll never know because I fall asleep before the punch line. What every happened with Taylor Dane anyway? Jesus Tiny Fey could tell twenty jokes in that time and they’d be all brilliant. Speed it up jokey, I have a life to live.

You mean President:

It’s not a promise its a contract. You can dissolve a contract, for instance, if it was not made in good faith.

Well how about a kind word? I love your stuff. I love this blog. I read it every day. It really does enrich my life. When I had young kids it helped me cling to sanity. It makes easing into Monday better.

Ok I get your point but anyone who apologies to me with brownies is 100% forgiven. I mean, kill my grandma, they better be good. Like the peanut butter ones with the hard frosting on top good. But in general all brownies are fine.

Just as a weird aside, those rats. They’re sitting in their cages eating insane amounts of fried foods and steak and whatever delicious foods and drinks produce acrylamide. Basically everything good. Now imagine being in the control group in the next cage.

Look we’ve been looting the world for 3000 years. When you do something for that long you get good at it.

I was riding the elliptical machine the other day and a guy was doing burpies sort of in front of me. I could ride that machine all day long, but if I did ten minutes of burpies I’d die of a heart attack. That guy was built like a marine. He was ripped. Therefore this woman is a super hero. She should turn her…

OK but is it cigarette level cancer or bacon level? I’m going to have to see the odds. Everything including sunlight causes cancer but you can’t live your life in the dark.

Don’t forget the iron in Mike didn’t come from nowhere. He never knew his father. His mother died when he was 16 and left him in the care of a boxing trainer. He’s probably taken more shots to the head before 18 than this whole comment section. He was born to be bad and he’s steadily struggled and tried to get to the…

I was a kid when Nixon happened. You’ll be amazed when sanity bubbles up again. It always does. Granted the crazy really came out against our first black president but Obama’s good example goes a long way. It’s sometime hard to see progress because it’s so gradual, but kids today are generally way better than when I…

I’m old enough to remember the older kids taking them. They’re like alcohol, I think, I never tried them, but you can more easily overdose. The “high” is more euphoric than booze, but you can also very easily die on them. I always assumed that’s why they fell out of fashion.

I have to say this seems out of character in mild mannered Canada. I thought mass murder was an American thing.

I mean, some people will do anything before they go to the gym.

Oh he’s going to die in Jail or on the way to it.

Counterpoint: clicks

C’mon solely? They also direct traffic.

I think you did the right thing. I left my daughters too long and she scratched my retina with it. I had to wear an eye patch.