My morning routine is get up, get clean, get dressed, go to work. Bed to car in under 15 minutes.

Let’s be fair Pittsburgh is a commonwealth of Ohio, Philadelphia is basically New Jersey without a beach, the rest of the state consists of small pockets of liberal progressives fortifying our cities against the conservative hordes drooling whilst cleaning their assault rifles praying for a zombie apocalypse.

Defence solicitor Suzanne Kelly put it to Miss Sanders

They get away with it because every story is true. Tabloids are real.

Anne Hathaway is pregnant! Isn’t that great? A source says she “wants to keep it quiet” until she “has an official pregnant belly,”

Look, I love babies. I like moms (some of them). But if I was invited to speak in from of hundreds of people, do a book signing, and participate in an intense professional conference, I’d arrange for child care for the day. No, you can’t bring your baby to work, sorry. That includes adjunct teaching. Advocate for…

#cocksnotglocks?

900% certain at least one employee noticed, laughed, and kept walking.

Here’s a very important update that somehow managed to escape me during my research.

Hildy was a crazy bitch.

Also extremism.

sanskrit lettering.

I think I need this as a back tattoo.

Taking the religious batshittery out of it, this heartbreaking story is still disturbingly similar to a subset of the earthy/crunchy Brooklyn parent with the holistic/natural everything and the $2,000 Stokke stroller.

The above leads us to conclude that either

By this logic, people who regularly drink Frappuccinos are the least psychopathic among us, and I refuse to accept that.

Let it go.

Has anyone who has ever said “I think we need to take a break” done so with the intent of actually getting back together?

Do these yahoos understand they’re celebrating treason and owning other people? Has that not sunk in yet?