I’m not really comfortable with anyone other than me saying such terrible things to Kyle.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GUYS?

AND, you might get in your feelings over the shit-talking, because James isgoing to call you a bitch. He always does that.

There’s probably a dead person floating in the hotel’s water supply. And maybe that person was on meth.

Dear Bristol Palin:

This is what’s wrong with America right here. This. Not Bristol Palin herself, but what she represents — the fact that so many stunningly, proudly pig-ignorant, determinedly undereducated, information-resistant people think they know enough about anything to tell others how they should think and behave.

And I’m mad Bristol Palin is still a thing, but what can ya do?

Yes, Bristol, you’re absolutely right. The police who dragged a 14-year-old out of school in handcuffs for building a science project and subjected him to hours of racist interrogation without allowing him access to a lawyer or his parents are the real victims here. The police and white people everywhere. Can’t put…

At least you know Miley means it when she says she’ll fuck anything.

Michelin Star dining 101: Chef’s tasting menus are for hipsters, you know what you want and how you want it better than some tattooed culinary school hero.

En serio, homie. Undercooked chicken is extremely popular at Japanese izakayas / yakitori places. I’ve never gotten sick from it and sometimes prepare my own chicken a little underdone...it’s juicier and more flavorful; worth trying from a reputable place (there are special chickens for this). I think my exposure to…

Hannibal: “I ate a bunch of vegans, and they needed more cheese.”

Or just buy and eat some cheese and realize that this tastes nothing like cheese.

For fuck’s sake. The only time this “parenting technique” will work is if the kid dies. So congratulations. He’ll never drink again.

This is her alter ego, Dim Kavis.

I believe that’s “I’m missing teeth” face...

The kind with little dried flowers in it!

We once had a blatantly racist and offensive “review”—a specific, named attack, no less—which was up for well over a year.

Can we just agree that American candy is pretty much trash to begin with?

CANDY CORN: