Scalia.

I totally agree and am anti-religious hospital, BUT: almost every hospital in our large metro area is Catholic.

I use a pressure cooker to make my chicken stock. It doesn’t take hours, an the stock comes out very gelatinous, if I am using bones that had not been pre-cooked. I buy 10 pound bags of leg quarters and cut the meat from the bones. The meat is bagged and frozen, and the leg bones are used for stock.

Food. Quality Food. The #1 item you should not scrimp on. Other stuff for me, my All Clad and Le Creuset pots and pans are almost 2o years old and will outlast me (same for my Lodge $20 cast iron pan). Quality conservative dress shoes, others have said Allen Edmonds, I say the same. DO NOT FORGET TO PUT SHOE TREE’S IN…

For about two seconds, my coffee-deprived brain thought this was Jared from Subway. What a clusterfuck that would be.

Sadly, you can’t ruin the chocolate covered bananas, unless they take more than 10 days to get there. Does Edible Arrangements have an option where they can roll your selection on a really linty carpet covered in cat hair, before they send it?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT

My friend’s fiancé was once like ‘Hohoho, if you rape a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting, hohoho’ and I practically shouted ‘It’s rape, sex with someone who does not or cannot consent is rape, please stop talking immediately’.

Prayer, when you won’t help, but don’t want to look bad.

The trouble is, it’s expensive, unripe out of season fruit. My favorite is to send whatever I would have spent to some charity they would hate but does excellent work and make the donation in their name. Then they get gifted with a surprise thank you card to sputter over and additional solicitations FTW.

Does this work?

When I was diagnosed with cancer, a friend of mine who was big on The Secret and all that crap, sincerely asked me, “And what have you done to bring this into your life?”

Now I need to go watch the whole series again.

Don’t want to get those hands dirty, just had my nails did.

Yup. Whenever Jesus-y people start their sermons at me I like to let them know that I was raised christian and that the founding pastor of Calvary Chapel is my godfather- and that has led me to my current atheism.

They only brought Jesus to dinner with them so they could get free wine.

The first story makes me think of the stories out of Japan about lonely otaku going on “dates” with their body pillows.