Do not be too gleeful. One of these charred remnants may end up being president.

These people are weird and perverted. Obsessed with penis-in-vagina. It’s bizarre.

OMG he’s Bud Cort in Harold & Maude:

When my sister was on her deathbed, I was driving back from the hospital and say a lottery sign saying the jackpot was $45 million. It struck me for the first time how money really can’t do everything, because it could not have helped her survive.

I look forward to my $4000 iPhone.

At this point, almost nothing surprises me anymore. I miss that feeling. Is that what being world-weary is?

It’s the same thing that keeps all fast food joints afloat: consistency. People want the same thing every time, which is where small local places often fail.

Those types always feel the need to reproduce heavily.

I loved the luau where the vegan girl began sobbing about the spirits of the animals when she ate vegetables covered in pig grease. I thought it was hilarious AND I’m a vegetarian.

And there was that one pasty white guy who was so pinched and above it all? Oh, he was a delight. You’re in Hawaii, dude, relax your clinch.

David losing it was such a hilarious moment.

I hated that horrible conservative girl, Rachel, from San Francisco. Ugh, her smug privileged face.

I have always been too old for Real World, but I have watched it for the nostalgia of that time in your life when everything seems so amazing and dramatic. I told my brother this and he said “You mean, you’re nostalgic for when you were a naive dumbass?” Well, yeah.

In MY day, you young whippersnappers, Real World was about kind of interesting people trying to make their way in the world. NYC, San Francisco...

Keeps the riff raff out.

Idiots. Everyone knows it is about maps.

Napping in the car. For some reason, I can get about an hour’s worth of sleep in 10 minutes in my car. It is heavenly.

Just hope you don’t run into some do-gooder who ruins your life because of it.

This is one of the worst parts of modern life IMO. Whenever some dumb fuck like Kim Davis or Sarah Palin or Donald Trump pops up, we are stuck with them forever thanks to cable TVs endless appetite for idiocy. It’s like dumb fuck whackamole.

Ronald Reagan ruins everything.