I would make his order wrong. About 15 times in a row. I learned passive-aggressiveness from my mom. She is the reigning Empress.

I am so pleased. I used to see her light up the stage at the Groundlings in LA. She stole every single skit she was in. I never imagined she would be so famous, but I’m glad it happened.

Madness! How does that even WORK??

Oh, yes I do. My nephew moved in with me and started perusing cookbooks. He decided to make Shepherd’s Pie for dinner from scratch, with no ingredients. While he was making the grocery list, BF and I looked at each other, got our car keys, went out to pizza and a movie. When we returned, poor nephew was just taking…

I try to be a good person, but I admit this headline gave me a tiny satisfied smirk.

Vegetarian for 3 decades. I love McDonald’s - their bathrooms are usually clean, and I don’t feel bad about using them without buying anything, because if they can destroy the rainforests, I can use their bathrooms. But for food? Not so much.

You have a point.

He looks happy enough!

Easiest best soup recipe:

What does one do when encountering a kangaroo? I’m really curious.

Asshole chic is....good?

The fur is from the one on the right.

That’s what kills me...everyone reads this fiction and then thinks they know something, when all they know is whatever the writer made up. This is my favorite piece by a former gossip mag writer.

I know. Everyone says “the crazy is coming out” but she seems like a straight-up drunk to me.

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

Gosh, I can’t imagine that Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus have anything better to do than sit around trashing each other...I call bullshit on all these type of stories.

Posse up, ladies. We need to go varmint hunting.

Thank goodness there wasn’t some horrible 72-car pileup as a result of his stupidity. My car got crushed in a stopped-freeway-traffic sandwich and it still freaks me out to be the last car in a line of cars stopped on the freeway.

Yes, but that is a great scene.

Yeah, you want to hit me for $20 for five fucking ravioli and not at least plop a pile of sauteed spinach or five asparagus spears on the side? You want to charge me $8 for those same damned asparagus spears? THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH. Damn right.