You got the Alex P. Keaton child!

I wonder if there is a fine for letting your roots grow out more than 1/4 inch?

For Alpha Phi, letting in brunettes IS diversity. When I was in college and went to a friend’s apartment, her roomie had a picture of her Alpha Phi house up on the wall. Every single one blondes. I thought it was some kind of joke.

I like it when people get all freaked out because you can pronounce Mourvedre or Gewurtztraminer. They’re just words, people.

I think that checks a bunch of boxes on the “Do you have a drinking problem?” list...when you’re ready, help is out there. Best wishes.

OJ is MADE for cheap champagne. Bring on the...oh what was that my BFs mom drank? Andre!

Must lie down now...feeling queasy.

That is the question, isn’t it? WHY?????

That is precisely what I am afraid of.

Yeah, like the time I took a lovely reserve Viognier full of subtle flavors to a party, and someone mixed theirs with seven-up...oh it is to weep.

It’s like we’re a nation of perpetual teenagers with terrible taste.

I know. This is really, really depressing me for some reason.

All you fat bitches, skinny bitches, not-classy bitches and lesbians, step off! Now, let’s see who is left....anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

If you’re not a straight Victoria’s Secret model, just don’t wear his dresses, m’kay?

My brother is a champion stone skipper (yes, this is a thing) so he does travel with his own rocks - about 100 lbs in a small duffel bag. But he does tote his own stones.

Have you seen that show Catastrophe?

I am Team Valentines Day, too. Let’s all have fun spreading love!

I literally shriek-gasped when I saw the Halloween costumes at Costco the other day.

He also taught some duck hunters to cook duck really well, when they had been out slaughtering innocent ducks (well, they’re all rapists, so I guess not THAT innocent) and then not eating them because they didn’t know how to cook them so they taste good.