Haha sorry, that’s terrible.

Personally, I’d love to see the person with the carry-on that is literally too big to carry on have to pay per pound.

And I’m not talking that “paying for 2 seats” either, because that is almost always not necessary. Just give me a seat wide enough for my particular anatomy. Surely they could make adjustable seat widths!

I had an acquaintance who wanted to split everything. One day she said “What is half of 25 cents?”

When I got weighed for a helicopter ride, only the clerk could see the weight. I had imagined a huge Biggest Loser scale where everyone could see, but nope. Very discreet.

I think it should be for price reasons, too, and I’m a big fat tuna, so it would be more expensive for me. You and your luggage hop on a scale, get weighed, pay the price per pound. And then have larger seats for the people who are bigger. I’d rather do that than continue to have my Kardashian ass squooshing up into…

The precursor to Makayla Maroney:

Yes, I am. Get the fuck away from me.

He is just so fabulously unattractive to me.

Somebody did that to me today. I used to work with them in a newsroom.

The tattoo is an homage to his three sold-out shows

I use mine as a spice cabinet.

Recipe

And what about Mitochondrial Rights? NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE MITOCHONDRIA!!

A microbe deserves all the rights of a full human being!

Awwwwww is fine and fully in the aw category, IMO. But awe should be reserved for, well, awe!

And just a peevish reminder: aw and awe are two different things.

Anyone who is a self-proclaimed feminist bitch is all right with me.

I’m all for a combination of Defending Your Life and Logan’s Run. When you turn 30 and every 10 years after, you have to present your case before a panel of judges to see if you keep living or not. The bar to life is pretty low - be a basically decent human. If you’re Jim Brownback or someone like him, you get…