As soon as I saw the headline, I thought “I’ll bet you this is a black person.” And sadly, right again.

If I had my period, I would just lay down with a book and some high-fat food instead of running a marathon. Oh, wait, that’s every day.

Oh, I did. This moron from the warehouse at work walks up behind me while I was with a client at the counter and did that thing where you chop someone in the back of the knee, so their legs buckle.

The cranky old person in me is muttering “Kids these days have to make everything all about THEM. They have no respect!”

You could use almost anything for the shallow dish - the water only needs to be puddle-deep. Mine is one of those dishes you put under a potted plant. I change the water every day, because it evaporates and birds are messy!

Every sex partner? What is “sex”? Does fingering count? Oral? Anal? Stimulation to orgasm without PIV?

I’mma bout to buy as many copies of “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives” as I can afford and start leaving them outside religious schools and fundamentalist churches...like the Gideons do with bibles in motels.

Yeah, I want to know too - not because I don’t believe you, but because it sounds like a great story!

Fear no chickadee!

As the owner of a crappy grey Hyundai, I must protest. A baby rhino falling in love with it would be the best thing ever.

I made a little birdy habitat out front - just a hidden spot with a deep dish of water and a shallow dish of water. The birds sit on the edge of the deep dish to drink, then take a bath in the shallow dish. I also have a big sage plant for the hummingbirds. Sometimes there are more than 10 birds at a time down there.…

Everyone has their indulgences. The reason no one can ask me for mine is that they were expensive meals out, but no one gives me crap about them, unless it is my mom, when I try to take her with me. “$14 for a salad? Can’t we get some KFC instead?”

This is not a conversation that should have had to exist.

What a dear, beautiful girl. Much love.

Gah. One of the first etiquette lessons I learned was “You don’t ask for presents unless someone asks you what you want.”

Our brains are mysterious places, so I can’t blame them for being attracted to images which disgust most of us. But ACTING on those feelings? No. Never. All the blame.

Comment was response to “we recognize that fully resolving our brand challenges in California will require sustained focus and commitment to correct misinformation.”

I just found out my BIL, who is of retirement age, spends hours a day trolling Reddit. I have always disliked the guy - I think he basically ruined my sister’s life - but it’s pretty fucking creepy that some 70-ish asshole with a Duck Dynasty beard is sitting behind his Dell for hours a day stirring up shit on Reddit.…

YOUR BRAND IS EL FUCKITO IN CALIFORNIA.

I’d rather have accents than to try and figure out which vowel goes with the goddamn schwa this time.