Any abortion is a standard part of women’s healthcare, the course of which is decided by a woman and her doctor.

Taxpayers already didn’t pay for abortions at Planned Parenthood. They did, however, pay for other necessary health services, like cancer screenings.

Alabama was already a pretty fucked up place for women’s health care. 33 of Alabama’s 67 counties had NO ob-gyn docs. This just makes it worse.

My BFF has the opposite problem. Her family is from southern Texas, which was Mexico until it wasn’t about 4 generations ago. She looks and is Latina and speaks Spanish and English perfectly well. She has had people accuse her of being an illegal immigrant. She tells them “We didn’t cross the border. The border…

These old fucking entitled white people. They grew up with everything telling them they were the be-all and end-all, and they’re pissed that the world has shifted even a tiny bit to their inconvenience. I deal with these people at my mom’s assisted living every day. They spend their time complaining about every single…

Spanish is easier to spell, that’s for damn sure.

This is what we call free-dumb.

Are you sure they’re not plotting to smuggle Castro into IHOP?

Cloud-yelling is popular (or in the case of my retired neighbor, yelling at his lawnmower).

Holy shit. If you’re in California and want to tell every single person speaking Spanish to stop, that’s going to be more than a full-time job. Que una perra loca.

If I had written that article, my copy editor would have thrown his OED at me.

You’re sitting on your couch, your bag of Fire-Hot Takis beside you. You reach for your laptop. You comment. Ah. That felt so good.

She’s only 18 years younger than him. I would have sworn he’s at least 46.

Oh, chop off my toe! I’m going to give Rand Paul the spanking I can tell he has always wanted.

Isn’t writing in the second person something we were taught not to do in freshman creative writing?

DING DING DING, we have a winner. Best advice of the day!

The guy looks super unhappy to be wearing it, and not in a Bitchy Model Face way, either.

Woops. My caps-lock key musta got broken along the way.

Anyone who has had much experience doing extemporaneous public speaking knows that sooner or later, some damn fool thing is going to come out of your mouth.

A private dancer? A dancer for money? That will do what you want them to do?