That’s what kills me...everyone reads this fiction and then thinks they know something, when all they know is whatever the writer made up. This is my favorite piece by a former gossip mag writer.

I know. Everyone says “the crazy is coming out” but she seems like a straight-up drunk to me.

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

Gosh, I can’t imagine that Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus have anything better to do than sit around trashing each other...I call bullshit on all these type of stories.

Posse up, ladies. We need to go varmint hunting.

Thank goodness there wasn’t some horrible 72-car pileup as a result of his stupidity. My car got crushed in a stopped-freeway-traffic sandwich and it still freaks me out to be the last car in a line of cars stopped on the freeway.

Yes, but that is a great scene.

Yeah, you want to hit me for $20 for five fucking ravioli and not at least plop a pile of sauteed spinach or five asparagus spears on the side? You want to charge me $8 for those same damned asparagus spears? THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH. Damn right.

You got the Alex P. Keaton child!

I wonder if there is a fine for letting your roots grow out more than 1/4 inch?

For Alpha Phi, letting in brunettes IS diversity. When I was in college and went to a friend’s apartment, her roomie had a picture of her Alpha Phi house up on the wall. Every single one blondes. I thought it was some kind of joke.

I like it when people get all freaked out because you can pronounce Mourvedre or Gewurtztraminer. They’re just words, people.

I think that checks a bunch of boxes on the “Do you have a drinking problem?” list...when you’re ready, help is out there. Best wishes.

OJ is MADE for cheap champagne. Bring on the...oh what was that my BFs mom drank? Andre!

Must lie down now...feeling queasy.

That is the question, isn’t it? WHY?????

That is precisely what I am afraid of.

Yeah, like the time I took a lovely reserve Viognier full of subtle flavors to a party, and someone mixed theirs with seven-up...oh it is to weep.

It’s like we’re a nation of perpetual teenagers with terrible taste.

I know. This is really, really depressing me for some reason.