How is lady wall street possible? Ladies doe not fianance. Ladies cannot brain for numbers! Do not be mad. I put ladys on a peddestel!

I am 100% sure you can walk better in heels than I can.

When you wear size 18 pants, no pockets in the world are going to fool anyone.

I just bought some goddamn Chico’s jeans. The pockets are about 1 1/2 inches deep, and 8 inches wide. They go all the way up under the zipper in the front. I have to stick my fingers all the way across my pudgy belly to get my parking meter quarters out. WTF.

I admit I have been lusting after Heath pottery for a long time, but I’m too much of a cheapskate to buy it.

Before you buy knives, put your hands on them. Do not take anyone’s word for how good they are. What is good is something that you can sharpen yourself and that feels good in your hand. The best steel in the world is crap if the shape, size and weight don’t work for YOU.

The View: refuge of stupid opinionizing since forever.

One of my gun-toting conservative-leaning military friends and I went to lunch at a Thai place and were waited on by a guy with makeup and his nails done, lots of jewelry. My friend said “He’s a girly man. That’s ok. I don’t care. He seems like a nice guy, and he’s a good waiter.” Not everyone is some Fox news…

Do you ever get to a point of richness where you go, “Hey, guys, y’know what? I’m good! I can get my own ramekins”?

And why do you want your glassware wrapped in leather?

That’s why the documentary “Paris is Burning” was so profound to me. It’s about drag shows. It makes the point very clearly that everything is drag. Businessman drag, nerd drag, schoolboy drag. We’re all trying to find our tribe.

I know. Holy shit.

I love gender outlaw-ism. People who just do whatever the fuck they’re going to do and bravely confront the world as themselves. One of our grocery store cashiers presents a very masculine look, but she always wears a big fake flower in her hair, too. I don’t know why. I don’t care. She looks happy.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this crap. [Pats cushion] Come over here and sit by me. I have cookies.

It made me look up this article - this same woman who is complaining that Caitlyn Jenner is ruining ladyhood is the same person who jumped up on stage to claim credit for a movie that wasn’t at all hers.

Thank you for taking the time to dissect this. I read it quickly and was disappointed that it presented a women vs. transwomen viewpoint, as if there is some kind of battle going on.

So, is this a retraction, then?

Poverty-stricken friends had a brownie potluck instead of a wedding cake. This was a decision no one argued with.

I am still very, very bitter about that screaming thing at MOMA. The one day in my life to enjoy that museum and it was pretty much wrecked by Yoko’s damned awfulness.