I’m pretty sure they intentionally avoid posting photos of the man handcuffed to nuclear codes most of the day for obvious reasons like kidnapping him and cutting off his hand to take the briefcase. I believe there was quite the kerfluffle when some Mar a Lago stooge posted a shot of this fellow walking around the…

Shouldn’t it be more cathartic?

I hate Nancy Pelosi's new Netflix special.

I’m assuming it’ll just be the White nationalist version of this character. Too bad the Ultimate Warrior died, he had a real shot at the 2024 Republican nomination near the end of his life.

It should be considered a crime that his name isn't Tuckley Carlson.

If they aren't sufficiently picked on in 2nd and 3rd grade will they even turn out like Tucker? Maybe the horrible name is a necessary component.

Is someone at splinter given permanent Tucker Carlson duty or do you guys draw straws at the end of the night to see who gets stuck watching this horror show?

Nor I, but I doubt they’re happy to have given up their control of super delegates this time around. 

How the DNC is feeling right now.

I’ll give him the Rudy Giuliani “noun, verb, 9/11" line.

Is her magick strong enough to fix John Hinkelhooper’s haircut?

This is exceptionally well put.

Official tagline of this Democratic primary.

It’s very hard to be less interesting than Joe Biden in my opinion. 

So what, did Biden agree to make Jake Tapper’s lunch for a year as long as they fix the drawing so he didn’t have debate Warren for a little while longer? Because all I just heard was this:

I feel like these are akin to the people that went to Fugazi shows hoping to get yelled at for their dickish behavior.

As I read this I could literally see him dictating it to his assistant: pacing behind his desk looking smug as hell, completely confident that each of these points are just brilliant.

I responded to this with what can only be described as cackling.

I imagine Mulvaney is on tweet printing duty for some reason.