I feel this so strongly. I think my big accomplishment for the week was not strangling anyone in the office and not getting wasted last night. I just slept it off and now I feel excellent.

“What’s everyone drinking tonight?”

MENOPAUSE: AN AAARRGGGHHH STORY

Helloooooooo! What’s everyone drinking tonight? I am not drinking anything at this moment since I am trying to battle against having a panic attack. But as soon as I can breathe normal, I will have some La Marca.

I agree with you. Masturbation was a terrible sin, so the good doctor will just help you out and help give you an orgasm! It’s not a sin if you’re not alone! No. Just fuck no. The man was a serial rapist and it isn’t funny.

“I would dress up as a girl so I could go into the girls’ locker room and jack off, so obviously any trans women are just faking it so they can look at boobs.”

I’m getting the sinking feeling that this guy was probably a seasoned child rapist. He explained away all the signs of sexual abuse and got to get his hands on children over and over again for more “treatment.” Very devious and sick of this guy.

There’s really a lot of that going on in old-timey medicine. Sigmund Frued had a really bad case too. Dude, just because your mom died and your dad married some lady that was only like 2 years older than you and you had a huge fucking crush on her doesn’t mean that all of human behavior is driven by our desire to bang…

He's a pretty good example of "I have a problem so all the rest of you must be wrong." Hey dude. If coffee and tea get you sexually excited...well maybe you're the ONLY ONE who really needs to stop drinking coffee and tea, or dipping your balls in it or whatever the fuck you were doing that got you on this tear, kay?

If drunk history has taught me anything it is that his brother was the true inventor and founder of Kellogg’s cereal!

That corn flakes and Graham crackers were invented to prevent masturbation is one of my favorite fun facts. But I had no clue that Kellogg was that twisted. It’s much less light-hearted now.

Nope. Different brands calculate it differently. There is no One True Bra Size.

Speaking of stimulation, avoid consumption of sexually aggressive food such as tea, candy, cinnamon and peppermint. Said Kellogg, “Tea and coffee have led thousands to perdition in this way. Candies, spices, cinnamon, cloves, peppermint, and all strong essences, powerfully excite the genital organs and lead to the…

Well, off to buy Post and General Mills for the rest of my life.

This is all I got:

1. How to use Snapchat.

For comparison, here are some samples from the mothership EDC here in Vegas which occurs after the sun goes down as nature intended and where being scantily clad is as much for survival as it is for rave fashion

I feel like you are about 17,000 times more likely to be ridiculed for being ugly at a bar than at a music festival. I've only ever been teased about my body/looks at a bar by some drunk asshole. People on Molly are generally pretty kind.

So many butt cheeks.

snl did a bit on it titled “when will the bass drop?”