Right? I read this, quickly crunched the numbers, and thought “What the fuck ever.”

Yeah, nobody’s gettin’ around Bali in a Fosters singlet, are they.

Well, if ya gunna have a sickie, why not take bickies in the arvo? You’ll need ya sunnies.

I always imagined her as older... muuuuuch older.

And the theory is?

Whole lotta ugly people out here in the world, gettin’ laid on the reg too.

IMO, if you’re gonna have chest tatts, they better be reeeeaaaal fuckin’ traditional. And ideally monochrome.

Tourmaline! Of all my jewelry the thing that gets the most compliments is a ring with a peridot and two mauve tourmalines. People ask what stone it is and then say ‘huh... never heard of that’. Dunno why they aren’t more popular!!

I’ll bang on about coloured stones to anyone who’ll listen. :)

Haha, I went with a non-diamond precisely so I COULD get a huge tacky rock.

I once got period shits and runner shits at once! The short distance back to my house was torture. I then vomitted from the pain.

Dude, someone killed their wife doing that! So uncool.

Woah, Mr. T-Shirt (IRL Moore) and I talk about naming our potential daughter Heather. Must reconsider if it means she’ll end up making hipster nonsense.

But how was the root canal?!

I’d just tell her it’s like being asleep forever, and you never wake up. Because it’s the truth. You’re not conscious. Sleep isn’t scary, so I find the comparison very comforting.

Side benefit: Husband grows a nice set of boobies.

Yeah, I don’t even know you, and don’t really care what you do with your face, so I’m not sure why you’re taking this so personally.

Agree 100%. I think these defrnsive comments are just that—sorry you’re getting jumped on! I don’t think you’re concern-trolling at all.

I wet myself laughing at this. So, thanks.

You sit down, start reading, get totally absorbed, stay an extra 25 minutes, only move because the seat has become crazy painful.