This really is the darkest fucking timeline.

THEY KILLED THE ROCK ‘N ROLL MCDONALDS???

He did? When?

Dude, hockey is cool name central. There was a guy named Satan in the league for a couple decades.

He’s one of those guys whose name might doom him to being overlooked. If he was the exact same player named, say, Steve Richmond, I think the narrative’s a little different. (Then again, fuck narrative.)

I was convinced the Jags had this at the half, so much so that I went to the grocery store and only got back at the start of the fourth. You’d think last year’s Super Bowl would have taught me better.

Fuck it, I’m amused. Shit like this isn’t supposed to happen. Nine Super Bowl appearances in seventeen years? That’s fucking insane.

This is a salient point.

What a waste of beer.

Dude, everyone’s fans suck.

Like Veep, only significantly less funny.

This is the dumbest damned thing.

Holy shit, you aren’t kidding.

Was this bar next to the circus or something?

None more woke.

I wore twenty-two to high school once to win a bet. That dude can suck it.

What the hell is wrong with us?

2018 is the year in which I lose all sense of shame. Because there are so many idiots out there just itching to waste their money on bullshit.

Fair enough. One of my resolutions this year is not to overthink shit like that.

No, I know. But Do the Right Thing is thirty years old. My point, I suppose, was that it’s not as though famous people who happen to be white are automatically monolithic and universally beloved because they’re white. I mean, Beyonce is the biggest star in the world. Hard to get more monolithic than that.