One More Minute

I bought one of those once, because a friend of mine was coming over and I thought it'd be slightly classier than a twelve-pack. We got like three beers each out of it and finished the night at this dive down the street from my apartment. Wound up being a pretty good night, but that Heineken keg thing had almost…

I gotta get myself one of those electric kettles at some point.

The math checks out!

That Pizza Hut thing is frighteningly plausible.

There is when you couple it with people's inherent laziness. And, since you can't really have one without the other, there you go. If they really wanted to not be wasteful, they wouldn't have mass-produced K-cups at all, just marketed the thing as an easier-to-use French press.

That's silly. Unless they're trying to retroactively make the K-cups proprietary, which… nah, that's just silly.

Ah, okay. I mean, I do the same thing at home, but I see your point.

You are an outlier, my friend.

DRM? Are you fucking kidding me? You couldn't plan to be that dumb. Jesus Christ.

I want something's flesh!

Doesn't anyone in your office drink iced coffee? The last office I worked in used to just put the leftover coffee from meetings and events in the fridge for me.

No, no, meths. Like what the wankers on the site drink. Withnail told me.

Fuck off with your wasteful little cups and all your bullshit, Keurig.

Meths!

Those things are badass, man.

I think people would have given less of a shit, but that would have been a huge goddamn chicken sandwich.

I don't know, those Carvel black cards look pretty serious: https://pmcmovieline.files….

DURR DURR NO HASHTAGS ON TWITTER GIVE RICH MAN FREE ORANGE CHIKIN

Oh, man, sorry to hear that. Actually, now that I think about it, I kind of want my great-uncle's path: healthy, robust, active and possessed of all his marbles until he was 96, and then one night he went to sleep and never woke up.