“Honey, look at this.”

In a theater SPECIFICALLY DESIGNATED for whipping it out! Before the world had internet porn, too!

After that appearance Jay realized he didn’t even have to bother to try. Bits like Toilet Golf where he laughed uncontrollably at his own jokes signaled the era where The Tonight Show became unwatchable.

I agree. I mean, he was supporting local business while he was in town! What’s the issue?

I’ll take my celebrities soliciting consensual sex work over assaulting and/or using power imbalances to coerce sex out of lower-status coworkers any day.

I mean if we really want to be mad at him, we can be mad at him for clinching Jay Leno’s career.

If I was the Pope, I would yell “Holy shit!” every time I took a dump, and then cackle at my own cleverness.

lol of course she pierced her septum now. 

My wife and I really like Asian art and culture. The problem was we couldn’t decide between a Chinese or Japanese theme, so we just opted for a “Rape of Nanking” destination wedding!

What’s the HBO Max equivalent to “Netflix and chill”, “Be groggily indifferent and fall asleep on the couch until the ‘clump’ sound from upstairs wakes you both when the youngest falls out of bed again oh god we’re so very tired”?

For some reason, “The Devil’s Douglas” is killing me.

Who the fuck wrote this NDA, an unpaid intern?

Dude, really?  You’ve been here long enough to know how this works.

$1 million? Fuck me, heroin’s gone up sharply in the last few weeks. 

Good for Pete Davidson! It’s about time he stood up to people coming to see his shows! I, for one, will help him out by not going to them. Take that, audiences!

I wish people realized how often NDAs are unenforceable. Especially people with          dirt on Donald Trump. 

I agree. Although mainly what he should do is go away. 

Wait, Kid Rock has a restaurant? What’s its motto, “We never wash our hands”?

It wasn’t the entire family. . . 

Sounds like fun(yun).