“Some child”? I’ll have you know President Taft himself introduced eating Oreos (or as they were originally known “Dr. McGillicudy’s Vitality Wafers”) this way, during one of his Kitchenside Chats

He totally does have power. Without him, they’ll never be able to set up their Gaimaniverse. NOW what will they do with their planned Sandman and Coraline crossovers?

She kept talking about how much she loved Mr. T, but everyone got confused.  I pity her, the fool

L-Word.  It’s viral marketing for the reboot.  Sundays on Showtime!

Just YOUR particular brand, though.  I hear they’re very excited about having Kevin James on in a recurring role....oops....wait...he just got fired

I’d claim that this is terrible, and now I’ll never watch Hallmark Channel again, but I never watched in the first place.  How can I show my outrage correctly? If I start watching to then never watch again, wouldn’t I be giving them business, thus incentivizing their decision? And if I continue not watching, then how…

What, no Manimal live special?

Just get Shub-Niggurath and all her kids to eat the grass.  I hear she has a lot, so that should take no time at all

“Alexa, what’s shinshi shinshi?”

I suppose next year we’ll get “O Unholy Night” or “Coma White Christmas”

Because his metafictional Netflix show was cancelled after only one season

Say Hello 2 Litigation

This headline is misleading.  The 80's candy is way more famous. 

They also control Bloody Marys, steak sandwiches. and steak sandwiches

I think w/some viewers, anything Summer does is something dumb and they have every right to call her a bitch.  Like some sort of Poe’s Law for women.  A Doe’s Law?

That’s an odd screenshot.  It makes all seven of them look like they’re having different problems keeping their pants on at the exact same time.  Perhaps they shouldn’t have skipped that day at K-Pop training school

“Attempt hand stuff, get distracted by phone”

It’s weird that we can miss the integrity of old sex scandals. When Pee-Wee Herman whipped it out, he did so in a darkened room with other adults whipping it out, not in front of other comedians

I’m glad they’ve taken the most wholesome of the decade-old dance crazes to bring back. I was most offended by what I like to refer to as the Harlot Shuffle and the Devil’s Douglas

He shares this with Kid Rock. Also, the inability to rap, being capable of long-winded rants while not being funny, and not being able to fuck anyone sideways without it becoming headline news for some reason