True Beanie Baby story: a friend’s child had quite the collection and they were arrayed neatly on special shelves around her room. A visitor innocently asked “where did you get the bat one?” WHAT BAT ONE?!?!? It was a real bat (and a big one) snugged side by side with pink and blue fuzzies on either side. Cue much…

I still have regrets about turning down an invitation to the weird kid’s 9th birthday party. No one went. I felt guilty about it the next monday morning and still do to this day. That shit stays with you.

She got so emotional about J.Lo.

As her best friend, I’ve known this for weeks, obviously. I’m just glad she’s sharing with all of you.

The words “handsome bloke” should have tipped you off that it was NOT Keith Richards. Even then he was not much to look at.

“Keep that p***y tight while I’m gone.”

pitch meeting to have a Disney night on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars

I would’ve thought his peen smelled like stale marijuana and doritos and shame.

Did you see that reality show Average Joe II, where the girl tells the guy she chose that she has a huge secret to tell him? She tells him she used to date Fabio and he loses it and breaks it off with her. It was bizarre/ hilarious/ no way it’s true / but almost too crazy to be fake

That's just the power of love.

Have I smanged a famous musician? If by “famous” you mean “popular in the Raleigh folk music scene” then yes, yes I have. He was the fiddle player of Chatham County Line and I ho’ed down with him about 4 years ago when his band was touring the Midwest. The sex was dece, and the next morning pleasant, except for when I…

Towards the end of our third date, this girl I was dating sheepishly said she had something important to tell me. Expecting an STD story, I started sweating. It took her five minutes of “Ughhh... this is so hard to say...” before she finally tells me her mom banged Huey Lewis. She got pissed and stormed off when I…

I had a friend in college who gave Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit) a hand job, then came home the next morning, still drunk, waving her hand under all of our noses giggling "my hand smells like penis!" Can confirm Durst's peen does in fact smell like peen.

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

I have a friend who was in Hole for a short stint, and she definitely had lots of sex with Dave Grohl back when the two bands were intertwined for awhile. No great stories, all she says is he’s a considerate, competent guy in the sack and was pretty much horny 24/7 back then. She has lots of batshit stories about…

Scully. That's exactly who she's like. At times, borderline Dr. Brennan-like.

I am getting married in November to a wonderful man with the last name Brown. We wanted to do a hashtag for the wedding so I went to a wedding hashtag generator... Some were predictable, others made me gasp with laughter. We have settled on the most inappropriate, cause that is what we do. #TakeMeToBrownTown

My last name is McMahon and his is Hornyak so we dreamed of McHorny2015.com. It was swiftly rejected by the in-laws. boo hiss. Boring URL it is. Don't you settle!

Well, on a positive note, at least she didn't have to pee in a cup like a Cubs fan. Cubs fans never win :(. Sadly, neither do the Cubs.

YES. I almost took out my son’s eye trying to unlatch my nursing bra. The lower strap/bra cup came flying off like it was propelled by an explosive. It is way less glamorous than this beautiful picture. Especially in the beginning. So much crying, so much wiggling. And then there’s also the baby.