Yeah but that’s not swimming that’s long jump

$40 Car Wash*

Okay so this one time, I convinced my friend to let us take his dads 250 California out for the day in Chicago and...well...lets just say it was one interesting day off.

To be fair, it was an Avalon. Probably blended into the parking spot.

WHEN CROOKS CROSS THE LINE, YOU KNOW IT’S TIME. SKYLINE TIME.

Right here, just outside the car! (tires screech as car peels out, and away)

Where’s my gluten-free, vegan, fair trade option, Torch?

Is there such a feature for the mother in law?

Real Chinese food is nothing like Chinese food in the West. NOTHING LIKE IT.

fine fine, I’ll submit 2 columns for review

Thanks for the nomination, but I’m not really qualified to be a Jalopnik writer because sometimes I don’t proofread to see if I any words out.

Yeah, but I heard their engines were garbage.

A+++ GOOD RESTORER WOULD NOT SHOOT

Yes, because Toyota has never made a reliable and performance oriented 6 cylinder engine...

Elmo. A Sesame Street character introduced in the 80's who rose to be the star of the show in the 90's.

A car with a maintenance plan so strict, it’s basically a new engine after 15k miles.

28,000 kilometers is like 5 miles.