This advice is much appreciated, but I’ve documented YEARS of trial and error to come up with my own method:

10/10 would still watch the Netflix wedding special if only to see if Antoni caters the reception by just placing 100 avocados on plates and calling it a day  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Girl. Do you Tom, take Abby, my KWERN, to be your lawfully wedded hunty forever and over?

“this was done by a Twitter customer support employee who did this on the employee’s last day.”

Xander told Buffy that when Riley was cheating on her with a vamp, and was leaving to go reclaim his manhood, that it was all Buffy’s fault. Xander was a quintessential “nice guy”. I can’t see him as being a good guy.

Xander sucked.

Yea, there was a toxic drama queen I had to uninvite to my wedding. She shrugged about it when I explained she couldn’t come. I knew immediately, from her reaction, that she planned to crash because she knew I wouldn’t throw her out and make a scene. She didn’t seem to care about being uninvited until she found out…

Too often people mistake “person I’ve known the longest/am related to” as someone who must stay in their life, no matter what. This gal isn’t your “best friend” and hasn’t been in a long time. Breaking up friendships/relationships, etc. is usually painful because it was an important part of/time in your life; but I…

Anxiety Monster: this woman is not your friend. She is your abuser. It is OK and normal for you to feel love for her, because that is what abusers do; they exploit the good impulses of their victims (that’s you). Otherwise, they wouldn’t have anyone to abuse. You wouldn’t stick around for it.

My fear for you is that she would take over your wedding. Not necessarily with her presence, but your fears of what will happen and how to get around her difficult personality.

can you BELIEVE these two didnt last?

I legit cannot come up with a reason not to eat this.

I’m sorry but I need to eat this.

I’m almost reticent to share because I enjoy it being my little secret, but please if you feel so inspired check out Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn’s Yelp reviews.

Elle Woods knows nothing.

I had a LOT of fun in my twenties, then had two kids so I guess this represents my vag to crazy, possibly fictitious god sandwich lady.

The flat earth things he posts are adorable.

I love how dude right beside him gives him that “wait a minute, wait a damn minute...WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” look. This is my new favorite thing of 2016.

Good for your mom. I’m glad she’s okay. I once had a roaring fight with a boyfriend when I said that, if someone were attacking me, I would jab them in the eye with a key. I thought this was a good idea. He did not, and lectured me on how awful it would be to blind someone.

My mom was similarly attacked in her garage - a young man wandered in and tried to assault her at knifepoint - and she also forced him to flee by scratching / poking his face with her key. He dropped his knife to cover his eyes and ran out (I assume because he knew she wouldn’t be an easy target like he thought she…