We were pretty insistent about that too, but then someone brought these crazy straws that looked like dicks—and they were hilarious. Especially because they were subtle and no one really noticed. So we gave up and enjoyed ourselves.

We kept wondering when she was going to flash her vag when she was being interviewed. It was dangerously close and a lot of the times it looked like her clutch was the only thing stopping it.

We definitely did bathroom/snacks/refill break during his performance. Somehow, he makes me want to go to sleep and hit things simultaneously.

She is absolutely lovely in real life, FWIW. And flawless.

Are you me? This is our Friday night routine.

I didn't even finish reading the first half because the mental imagery of "the most resourceful, reliable penis" made me giggle uncontrollably and I had to leave my desk for a while so that my entire office wouldn't know I wasn't doing work.

I use gels if I'm traveling or if I know I'm not going to have any time to come back and get my nails fixed in the next week or so when I inevitably smudge them. Also great if you have events coming up like a wedding and are going to be super busy—you can get them done a week before and not worry about them! I never…

Yes, just be a little careful with Mac. They can go REALLY heavy on the face makeup (I had my prom makeup done with them and I didn't even recognize myself as my freckles were all gone!), but I'm sure if you're confident with what you want (unlike me at 18), they can be really good.

I was working on a film set in Canada and the second AD found out that I was single during our second week. He got down on one knee in front of all of the extras and asked me to marry him. I blanched, they applauded (I think they thought we were dating maybe?). My response was "dude, I like your girlfriend, she's…

I spent DAYS at work reading these and giggling hysterically. Was genuinely concerned that I was going to get fired. On the other hand, didn't have to read the books!

Ugh—my boss always puts his dish on my desk when he's done eating lunch. It is almost always salmon, the smell of which makes me gag. He then walks by the kitchen on his way to the bathroom. I am expected to dispose of his dish. Granted, I am his assistant, but I am not a goddam dishwasher. And it's not like he…

Grew up in LA, still live there, still took French. Useless, but serves me well when I travel...to France.

I could watch this vine...forever.

Ringo Starr yelled at me in an airport when I was seven years old.

My mom got super into SuperMario 64. She whooped my and my little brother's asses at it.

I LOOOOVE James Hance! And I've got the "Someone Who Loves You" as well as the one below (sadly no longer on his website) hung in my living room. Best Christmas presents ever from my beau.

Okay thank god—I thought mine was the only one obsessed with licking plastic bags. Still don't understand why on earth he loves it so much, but feeling much better that he is not the only one with that behavior.

I KNOW! Solid 50% chance of rain this evening. So inconvenient.

I have made the official decision to blow off my next run/workout when my bf is out of the apartment and dance around the apartment. Thank you for inspiring my decision.

I mean, granted, I also think that keeping wine around the house at all times is one of the most romantic things my beau could do (I am child-free at the moment)...but also sort of weird immediately post-baby. Does she just pump-and-dump every effing night?