BMW drivers dream to have this level of asshat parking job

Bumgarner of course leads the league in OBP (owned by pianist).

See? Dieter Ruehle is why the Deadspin Hall of Fame needs to be a thing again. That, and the fact that Piggy Poop Balls never got his rightful induction.

In order, those songs are: “Under The Sea,” “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay,” “Smoke on the Water,” “Cake by the Ocean” (a powerfully horny song if you read the lyrics), and “The Ocean.” Lovely. Ruehle was prepared for every situation:

Dieter Ruehle is AWESOME. (he’s also the LA Kings organist).

I sea what he did there.

Bone hugs in harmony.

But which team got hit by the bus and who is butt? I don’t understand this list.

“revealed no further neurological damage.”

One thing getting lost in this is that the pitch was a fucking strike!

“There’s ties in baseball now too? Fuck.”

Ahh, yes. Poo-tine.

citation needed

once Beilein met with her, he “became determined to recruit her to Cleveland.”

“I think, as a Canadian, we would just never ever think about doing something like that”

Ah, well. This article’s headline is certainly some type of prescient.

That was such a strange call! I’m a dumb idiot man and even I was thinking,”wow, that seems like a dumb idiot move” when it happened.

All you had to do was not cheer KDs reinjury, Toronto.

It’s kind of funny how quickly Warriors fans forget they’ve been cheering for this all these years:

It’s a little less impressive when you see that Tim Tebow is the goalie.