Joke’s on you! I was too fat to fit in a locker!

Nerds! You ruining the game. -Jason Werth

Was Pete really that averse to taking it to the rim?

Mine’s Skull. 

This ended about the way you’d think it would.

“We’ve been to many sporting events together, not just N.B.A. events. We’ve been to Mets games together. We took the subway. He really raves about the hot dogs.”

Or he’ll show and his entire acceptance speech will be, “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

I hope this happens so bad. Nothing will complete me more than 15 years from now when Beastmode commits to coming, is voted in, doesnt show. Then the HoF is gonna sue him for a breach of contract, only for Beastmode to actually sign and be enshrined in the NBA HoF. It will be glorious.

if the RNC wants to swing at a bunch of softballs they can go on Fox & Friends like always

“They’re not so much better ingredients, as they are separate—but equal—ingredients.”

“The over/under is 28.5? I’d be a fool not to take that action. Done.”

I’m excited to see this beef boil over on the court next season.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the outfield will not have the slightest concern about you taking them deep, so they will play incredibly shallow and in the miraculous case that you actually make good enough contact to get the ball past the infield you will probably get thrown out at first by one of their cannon…

Ya, if only you’d recently won some sort of championship or something.

Those Stormtroopers must be horrible dart players.

way to ruin Magary’s vacation by posting Gary Anderson not missing

Calling Dr. Love . . .

“...were part of a group that confronted Devante’ “Tay Bang” Zachery...” 

calcifying heels

What happens if they don’t? Do they eventually start accumulating delay of game penalties until they have to start penalizing them half the distance from their own end zone and run into Zeno’s Paradox where they can never get all the way back for a safety? Does the NFC Championship never happen? As the years pass by,…