Premise for a show: Tim McCarver and Bill Walton commentate two lesser-known sports, one of which they have done research for and the other they haven’t. People see if they can figure out which is which.

I counted at least four broken unwritten rules here.

A real student of the game.

It sucks that I’m going to get buried in the grays. I’m a math teacher and the answer is unequivocally 9.

As a math teacher, I love this analysis.

“Forward passes? I wish.”

It’s also dangerous, and malicious rather than puckish.

I’m originally from NYC and still somehow live here. Not only is it no longer the mecca of sports, but it’s no longer the best at literally anything.

He passive-aggressively posted this as his new picture on LinkedIn.

And if you’ll be my shooting guard,

I’m deeply upset that Derry Murbles hasn’t chimed in yet.

“McCoy has been accused of many terrible things during his NFL career, including domestic violence (he denied it and was not charged), brawling with off-duty cops at a nightclub in a Philadelphia parking garage (he was not charged), and leaving a 20-cent tip for a waiter.”

“He’s talking about Thomas Jefferson, naturally, and Biden goes on to recite a chunk of the famous second sentence from the Declaration of Independence: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.”

I felt the entire post was a humble-brag. “I would NEVER use unemployment, yet I can spend weeks sulking on my couch.” “I traveled to 49 of 50 states,” “I won an Emmy and *Bob Costas* thought I was great.” “I’m so humbled to learn how to say lo siento when I made a mistake,” “The greatest career accomplishment was…

“We feel we’re at an impasse at this point, and any further investigation would be unwarranted.”

Due to the big brioche’s versatility, their pick-and-roll...

“At the end of the day, Lillard succeeded at getting his own triple-double: He kept his composure, led his team the right way and came through in the clutch.

I agree. The TV audience is shrinking and we need more cliffhangers.

Maybe *that’s* what happened to Max Kellerman.

This headline will also work in September.