“That ball will never be the same again!”

Cute, but what will he think about Santa?

Spoken like a true muggle.

Well, the Steelers are getting killed right now.

If Ron Artest joined them in the Fifth Dimension, they’d be Up, Up, and Away.

“It’s what I needed.”

“Agnew’s fellow competitors at the 2017 Lemming Loop accused him of similar skipping behavior.”

Much like the portable toilet system he used, he was full of shit.

“But how did they have a timeout left at the end of the game?”

I wonder how this team would react if they played against a team featuring point guard Grin Go, shooting guard Crack Kerr, power forward Hill Billy, small forward Trae Lertrash, and center Honk Key.

Who are you filling in for this week, Derry?

They should have run him out of town.

“Yes, yes I do. I shalieve. I shalieve.”

The NFL: Where “discipline” means risking your life going to practice so you can risk your life playing the game.

I think you misunderstood the article. It was about how nuclear war serves as a happy distraction from living in Buffalo.

After winning the game, Saban criticized the Crimson Tide for their efforts, claiming, “You cost us an entire week of recruiting.”

If that doesn’t serve as enough motivation, Ewing will threaten to sweat on him.

“And thus we move on ... I have had absolutely the time of my life.”

That’s going to leave a Czech mark.

Pat’s and Geno’s can now keep more of their profits.