SOME OF US LOVE MAKING SHITTY COMMENTS MORE THAN WE LOVE ANY SHOW THAT HAS EVER EXISTED.

"LAST WEEK WE ATE DOGS, THIS WEEK WE EAT KITTENS"

I HOPE THIS SHOW TRANSITIONS INTO ROMANTIC COMEDY ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS FOR A GAY DUDE TO FIND LOVE DURING A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

THIS COMMENT IS TERRIBLE AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME.

GROUNDED - SET ON A LOT OF DIFFERENT PLANETS?

HE USES A SPECIAL LUBE THAT MOISTURIZES AND NOURISHES HIS HANDS. SOFTENS CUTICLES, TOO.

PICTURES OF COCKS? WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING.

GROUNDHOG DAY TRIBUTE? I SURE AS HECKFIRE REMEMBER YOU!

GROUNDHOG DAY TRIBUTE?

WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, JIM. JOHN "DUKE" WAYNE NEVER WENT IN FOR THAT SLOW MOTION BULLSHIT. AND LADIES WITH SWORD-LEGS? THAT'S ROGER MOORE ERA JAMES BOND CRAP, AMIRITE?

I SAW IT AS A CONFIRMATION THAT SHE'S THE WOMAN FOR ME. OH, THE COOL SANITY OF THE TOILET SEAT WHEN THE WORLD TURNS FEVERISH AND CHAOTIC AND LIQUID.

OH, COOL. GUESS I'LL HAVE TIME TO MAKE A BATCH OF HIS FAVORITE COOKIES FOR WHEN HE GETS BACK.

ABANDONING MOTHERFUCKER.

GROUCHY AND UNINFORMED!?!

THERE'S DOUCHEBAGS EVERYWHERE.

THAT, AND NOT "DON'T SWETTLE FOR SWUBSTITUTES," WAS THE LINE OF THE NIGHT. FUCKING ERIK ADAMS.

SATISFY A WOMAN?

DON'T WORRY. WHEN YOU PRODUCE, WRITE, AND DIRECT YOUR OWN SHOW ABOUT YOUR RIDICULOUSLY ENTITLED LIFE, I'LL BE SURE TO LET PEOPLE KNOW I THINK YOU'RE A FATTY AND THAT FEDERAL LAWS SHOULD BE PASSED TO KEEP YOU FROM TAKING OFF YOUR CLOTHES, WHETHER IT'S IN FRONT OF A CAMERA OR NOT.

YOU ARE A LYING LIAR, SAMANTHA MILLER. MENNONITES WALK THROUGH IOWA CITY EVEN AS YOU SPEAK. THERE IS A HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE ROLLING PAST YOUR DOMICILE/PLACE OF BUSINESS THIS VERY MOMENT. YOUR MENNONITE BASHING WILL NOT STAND. LENA DUNHAM AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL EVERYONE IN THE NATION REALIZES YOU ARE INDEED…

THE LESSON I'M TAKING FROM THIS IS THAT THERE AREN'T ANY VALID BUSINESS MODELS.