TWO GIRLS ONE CUP!!

NO, MOTHERFUCKER, NICK AND CAROLINE WILL GET BACK TOGETHER BEFORE NICK AND JESS WILL GET TOGETHER. THE SHOW'S CREATORS ARE CLEARLY AWARE OF THE EXPECTATIONS STEMMING FROM FRIENDS' SOAP-COM MOTHERFUCKERY, AND THEY SEEM TO BE CONSCIOUSLY TRYING TO AVOID MAKING THAT THE ENGINE THAT DRIVES THE SHOW.

SO DISAPPOINTED IN VANDERWERFF CONTINUING THE FUCKING STUPID MISREADING OF THE PAULINE KAEL QUOTATION. KAEL WAS QUOTING SOME OUT OF TOUCH ACQUAINTANCE WHO SAID "I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WHO VOTED FOR NIXON."

HOLY FUCK, "STRAIGHT GUYS TALKIN' 'BOUT GLEE" IS HETERONORMATIVE?!?! I'D KILL FOR YOUR INSIGHT, BITCH! BET YOU HAVE A 4.0 AT THAT COLLEGE YOU'RE GOING TO!

"ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS CANADA HAS PUT OUT IN THE LAST 10 YEARS."

IT'S FORESHADOWING, MOTHERFUCKERS! JOE'S MAGIC PENIS IS GOING TO CURE QUINN'S PARALYSIS! HAVING QUINN FEELING THE BONER IS GLEE'S SUBTLE WAY OF TELLING US SHE'S GOING TO BE WALKING AGAIN!

DUDE, THAT'S THE GLEE FORMULA. INSTEAD OF STARTING WITH A DEAD BODY AND SOLVING A MURDER USING SCENES OF ACTORS PEERING AT MEDICAL EQUIPMENT AND SPECIAL EFFECTS SHOWING VARIOUS WEAPONS PENETRATING FLESH, GLEE STARTS WITH ADOLESCENT EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AND SOLVES THEM BY SHOWING SCENES OF ACTORS SINGING POPULAR AND/OR…

YEAH, I AGREE. BUT MAYBE SANTANA'S ABUELA COULD START DATING BRITTANY'S GRANNY. BECAUSE I LIKE SYMMETRY BETTER THAN THE WRITING STAFF OF GLEE.

[DISPARAGING COMMENT ABOUT WHEDON; COMPARISON WITH DIABLO CODY;  STATEMENT OF PREFERENCE FOR REALISTIC DIALOGUE; REFUTATION OF WRITING THAT IS TOO CLEVER; SELF-DEPRECATING SIGN-OFF (TL:DR)]

NO, THE SEX TAPE IS GOING TO SPARK SANTANA'S ABUELA'S LONG SUPPRESSED LESBIANISM, AND SHE AND SANTANA ARE GOING TO SING A DUET (I'M HOPING THE SONG IS "A WORD IN SPANISH" BY ELTON JOHN, BECAUSE, AS I RECALL, SANTANA AND HER GRANDMOTHER KNOW ONLY ABOUT ONE WORD IN SPANISH.)

MY THOUGHT EXACTLY! I'VE THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS FUCKING POINTLESS FROM THE FIRST TIME I HEARD ABOUT IT, BUT I READ THAT LINE AND FUCKING LAUGHED OUT LOUD.

I ADMIT IT. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

YOU PEOPLE ARE MORONS!

CAN I DIG OUT AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR FUCKING EYEBALLS WITH A SPORK, TODD? I WILL PROVIDE REFERENCES AT YOUR REQUEST, BUT YOU'LL NEED TO SUPPLY THE SPORK.

YEAH, YOU AVCLUB COCKSUCKERS!! HOW DARE YOU HAVE THE TEMERITY TO DISAGREE WITH HALLSY AND HIS NON-STUPID OPINIONS? I WILL NOW CELEBRATE HALLSY'S COMMENT WITH A SHITTY HAIKUl:

EXACTLY WHAT I DON'T WANT IN A BOOK - "COMPETENT, WORKMANLIKE CLARITY."

NATURALLY I READ THE REVIEW OF THE KEVIN SMITH BOOK BEFORE I READ THIS ONE. I'M SURE THIS IS THE BETTER BOOK, BUT I CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING THAT IT'S AN EXPERIENCE THAT'S MORE INTERESTING TO LIVE THROUGH THAN TO READ ABOUT.

PART OF MY KINDHEARTEDNESS, THOUGH, IS THAT I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO STOP FUCKING YOUR MOTHER.

EXTREMELY WELL SAID, BITCHES.

SPIT-IT-OUTCESTUOUS?