Morbius’ box office is getting a lot of positive press because the expectation was that the movie would flop due to shitty word of mouth and an unknown character. So while a $40 million opening week isn’t that impressive by Marvel standards, the magic of low expectations has granted it some positive attention. Sony…

Oh, it’s never too soon for Hollywood to start remaking shit. It’s been eleven years since the final proper Potter movie. They rebooted Spider-Man twice in that amount of time.

It’s really clear that she has no story to tell with these prequels. They don’t even have a consistent plotline, they just pinball from one dull lore-dump to the next. So what’s the point? I think Rowling is just desperate to remain in the spotlight, and she knows damn well that her writing isn’t good enough to keep…

At least Depp serves as a good metaphor for the author of this franchise: hugely popular with nerds for a few years back there, but now that time is over and everyone wishes they’d just go away.

They’re barely even calling it that anymore. If you look at the movie’s logo, the fantastic beasts part is TINY. They really want the Dumbledore thing front and center, probably because they realized that people still have nostalgia for Harry Potter but the beasts sub-franchise has rapidly worn out its welcome.

Or I could play one of the hundreds and hundreds of other shooters that don’t ask you to pay actual money for each individual gun.

The Marvel connection is basically all the movie has going for it. With Venom, Sony could at least bank on using one of the most popular Spidey villains, someone who’d been in a movie before. With Morbius...has anyone ever cared about Morbius? I’m pretty sure the logic behind choosing this character is that he’s had…

Yeah, Colbert is credited as executive producer, but what that credit actually means can vary hugely from show to show. The general implication is that the person with this credit is instrumental to the production, but that can mean anything from “guy who is in charge of the entire show” to “guy who made some phone…

I loved that they aired the first episode of FLCL’s third season, months before the SECOND season even premiered.

I’m impressed that they made an entire character whose only personality trait is “he’s self-conscious about having a nerd job.”

Also, I like that he opened the conversation with “You must be NCIS.” I’m just going to assume that character’s name is NCIS. He works for the FBI. When he flashes his badge he goes, “NCIS,…

Everyone knows that it’s only a true Marvel movie if it comes from the Merveille region of France.

Because it keeps finding new ways to fuck up.

This is it, people. For the first time in history, people will begin to dislike celebrities. You can take it from Jim Carrey, a man who no one has ever gotten tired of.

“Dos Orugitas” should have won, but it was never going to, because it’s not in English and thus was no match for a bunch of old white Oscar voters complaining about immigrant music.

Oh come on, who could have predicted that no one would want to spend $5,000 to sleep in a Star Wars-themed bunker?

“We hereby strongly condemn the thing we helped fund, now that it can’t be prevented.”

What does Will Smith stand to gain from staging this, especially on the night when he had a strong chance of finally winning Best Actor? Zero people are going to remember this night for his Oscar win now.

Seems like some people just want everything to be staged. The whole world isn’t the WWE, folks.

THERE ONCE WAS A SITE NAMED CRUNCHYROLL, WHO WAS KING OF THE ANIME STREAMERS! HE HAD DUBS, SUBS, AND ISEKAIS, BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. AFTER HE WAS PURCHASED BY A MAJOR CORPORATION, THESE WERE THE FIRST WORDS HE SAID:

Don’t worry, she always uses one of her trademark invisible condoms. Unless she forgets. It’s hard to tell.

Superhero movies were Best Picture worthy four years ago, but Into the Spider-Verse got snubbed because it’s animated and the Oscars are still scared to admit that sometimes the best picture of the year is a cartoon.

Instead, the winner that year was [name of movie that was such a memorable classic that you don’t even…