Nobody’s Facebook life is real. People just cherry pick the highlights to make a good impression, but their lives are just as shitty as everyone else’s. It’s why I don’t use FB.

Thanks! It’s our Easter tradition. We hide the eggs Saturday night, the girls wake up early and I draw nose and whiskers and they put on their bunny ears... Then off they go with their baskets to find the eggs :)

What a gorgeous doggo! Here’s Amy’s Easter pic:

I’m still mourning the loss. So much unscripted absurdity... And legendary interviews with Robin Williams (RIP).

CAREFUL, ICARUS (I love this bit):

Hey man, live your best life.

I don’t think there’s a million dollars in quarters in my couch cushions but...

That dress is... an unfortunate choice.

I read today that scientists believe cats to be more intelligent than previously thought, and almost certainly more intelligent than dogs. That’s the reason why they intentionally ignore humans speaking to them sometimes. A cat president who ignored Stephen Miller and Steve Bannon would be a good president.

Well, you might see Trump as a performance artist. If that’s the case, it’s pretty fucking artistic.

After my niece peed on my memory foam-topped mattress, I caved and bought a 1) new mattress top (because ew) and 2) a waterproof mattress protector. It’d withstand an adult peeing on it. Highly recommend.

Donald Trump: orders women to pee on a mattress.

I know it’s basic as fuck (and I don’t mind) but I recently bought a tie-front shirt from Gap and the reviews were right, it’s soft as hell. Highly recommend tencel-made clothes from now on. Some options on Gap.com (sorry, pics are ginormous):

Denial is probably a big component of how they ended up broke in the first place.

Plus he delivered the funniest joke on all of 30 Rock, which is no small feat:

As expected Tituss continues to be a treasure. Will watch for his presence alone.

Real talk, my youngest is 5 years old and I look more pregnant than her. She probably has the strongest abs in existence.

That’s too much hotness for a couple.

I don’t think she’s picky with what she advertises. Gotta get that paper I guess.

If the Trump family were the Sopranos, Eric would be this idiot: