As a former baseball player I am sadly forced to agree. I’ve been on some good baseball teams, and some smart baseball teams, but never any good, smart baseball teams. Can’t think too much if you want to hit a 90 mph fastball. Pitchers can be an exception, but that’s also why they make them hang out away from the…

It’s all good, Ken’s lack of bulge never stopped me from bumping my dollies’ smooth plastic crotches together as a kid while laughing aloud at how edgy I was.

Jezebel really should just stick to dolls.

B(u)y Mennen!

Pitching requires alot of intellectual ability. Pitchers really have to think about a lot when on the mound. Previous pitches, at bats, wind, humidity, baserunners, position of the defensive players. As a result of this, all of their brain power goes to pitching, resulting in some of the stupidest people you can ever…

It's a butt-off!

God, the glory days of Thighlights.

Counterpoint https://deadspin.com/tag/disgusting-baseball-chins

Jezspin forever

“Stick to Feminism!”

I have a question: In that top photo, is that a framed David Hockney behind Su Lin? And was it there before she arrived, or did it just kind of magically appear? If she could conjure one for me I would agree to some kind of joint custody arrangement, maybe one weekend a month.

Man, I’m dying to try some roast swan now.

I greatly appreciate this mostly because I love your writing.  Two thumbs up.  Good family fun.

Counterpoint: I would totally eat horse. I don’t think they fall under “cute” so much as “terrifyingly large animal with weird skinny legs that produces its own weight in poop per day.” Horses are kinda assholes too. If the McHorse with cheese existed, I’d order one today.

In my opinion if you’re talking the best Kevin Costner movies, A Perfect World is damn near the top.

There was a curfew all year for minors not with an adult.. After I turned 6 I went out by myself. You have to realize this was small town Wisconsin so you knew everyone who gave you candy. I had a 4 block grid I could go down and wasn’t home until about 7.

I think it’s pretty common for kids to be too cool for Halloween around the age of 11 or 12. But wait three more years until they discover snark and irony and suddenly think it’s hilarious to go door-to-door when they’re 16.

As long as they say “Trick or Treat.” That’s the rules.

I’m like the staff, 12 or 13. Between the scares about pins and razor blades in apples and bigger kids taking our loot, I lost interest in the whole process. Plus that made my unavailable for my mother’s various over-the-top costumes.

It was Freshman year of high school. I went with a group of about 5 friends. Pretty much every house we went to gave us looks that said, “aren’t you a little old”. It was probably the 4-5 house when the person who answered the door asked us if we were just out “scamming for candy”. Even though we shouldn’t have, we…