You reuse the single-use plastic water bottles?

I’m really curious who still actually brings a gift to a wedding in 2019. When we got married in 2012 we got 1 gift and zero cards at the actual wedding, everything else was mailed to our home directly from our registry. 

As a single gay 40-some blah blah blah, I’ve helped re-furnish enough fully furnished households with Williams-Sonoma registries to sympathize. Yo, Blake and Conor, here’s your $39 soup ladle but I’m gonna take the Dunkin’ gift card k-thanks for the overcooked chicken bye.

I sure hope Melissa McCarthy has wrapped up the film rights to this story.

I was truly hoping this post would turn into a compendium of Four Loko horror stories and it has not disappointed. Thank you all. 

This was one of the things my mom taught me many years ago. Gift tables are convenient for guests, but a potential hassle for the family or couple. Someone has to watch it and make sure they get home safely.

we had to hire a security guard for my sister’s wedding in order to serve alcohol, so we had them watch the gift table.

Story time! Back in college I used to travel to paintball tournaments, the weekend-long kind where you’d camp out for two nights and paintball on Saturday and Sunday. One of the teams we played with regularly was made up of guys who worked at the regional Miller group responsible for the Steel Brewing Company…

When my kids were in school, my wife and I participated in PTO, the parent’s organization at the school. My wife was a member of the board and I helped with the website and emails. While working on a fund raiser for the school, we had stopped at a local business that often gave very generously to silent auctions. The…

+1 for stunad!!

“You may know me from such other popular videos as Woman Thrown Off Plane, Screaming Lady Demands Faster Service At McDonald’s and Racist Rant Caught On Tape At Target.”

Are we sure it’s not Melissa McCarthy shooting a Borat-style mockumentary film on the wedding industry?

Bar Mitzvah crashing is so much easier. I always looked old for my age so I was Josh’s mom. Which Josh?

Not a crasher but a cousin’s date tried to steal the box of wedding cards at a reception I went to years ago. He didn’t make it far....It was a family from Jersey City and that sorry ass did not know you do not fuck with them!

If you use a lime press the pulpy inside bits get pretty compressed. It looks more reasonable than it might sound. It’s still a sticky, shallow bowl filled with booze, but looks (and smells!) perfectly appetizing. 

Before I even saw her picture, I knew it was her.

You drink good scotch and your drink it neat. If you are going to buy cheap scotch, put Drambuie in it and call it a Rusty Nail.

OK Story time from Uncle Bongo: Way back when Four Loko had caffeine my Aunt ventured to the big city (Madison, WI) to get supplies for a big “Cinco De Mayo” (pronounced like mayonnaise) since the only Mexican supplies in my home town came from Old El Paso. While in the liqueur department buying Corona she snagged a…

My buddy does IT for a church.  I wonder if All the save icons there are Jesus

It makes me feel old when I dig Windows NT 3.51 install floppies out of my basement and chuck them, kids not knowing what they are doesn’t really register.