This is a wonderful idea that I am going to try.  Even with cornmeal sometimes I have trouble with ingredients rolling around - like if I put cherry tomatoes on the pizza.  Pending success, I am forever in your debt.

Good to know Boaty is a devoted Takeout reader.

It’s on the internet, so it will eventually become fact.

It’s so painfully obvious that this is a joke, how are you at all unsure of that? The fact that there are people who aren’t sure if this is a joke is much more unsettling than this obvious joke petition.

Ours told us very clearly "do not freeze that shit and eat it a year later, just come to me and I'll make you a small sheet version to celebrate then". Bless her, it was delicious! 

Was your father’s name Brian, too?

This is reasonable as the kids probably don’t want to be there either. I know I hated being at every wedding I went to as a kid.

Nope. If I was dumb enough to try this shit when I was a kid, my mom would have beat my ass. The kid’s not gonna feel any shame from this, but the parents should and will.

It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.

I don’t completely understand this... why not simply take some salt, and sprinkle it on a pad of unsalted butter before applying to toast?  That way you can even control how much salt you want in your butter.

I was kicking it into position for you.

... Him?

In Cera’s defense, that’s pretty much the only possible response to Aubrey Plaza licking ice cream at you. Well, that and comically tugging at your collar while chanting “Homina homina homina” as a slide whistle plays out of seemingly nowhere. 

Holy shit I just realized Chun-Li is the Agents of Shield lady.

Interesting parallel: I was coked out of my mind when I watched it.

In that case I’m sorry you had to read it, but I am not sorry for my feelings!

This reads like an apology from an ex-apologist.

Read the headline as:

I just hope that, once this is all over, it gets adapted into a love-it-or-hate-it sci-fi book about finding easter eggs in beloved pop culture properties called Ready Player Gunn.

I say just go at the table. That way, you don’t leave your stuff unattended, and your territory is marked for the next time.