Yes, this.  I love how they all talk about *the* bible like there’s only one.

As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won’t need much, just a tiny taste.

If you like coffee you shouldn’t have any desire for Starbucks.

Good to know, but Schultz’s intention to not be a spoiler doesn’t mean that his candidacy wouldn’t do exactly that.

Steal $100 and you’re thrown to the ground with a taser in your back and placed in cuffs. Steal $100,000 dollars and you’re escorted out by men in suits.  America, land of the free.

The reason given for contracting out government jobs is usually price, but in 2011, a report found that contrary to popular belief, giving government work to private companies cost the government more than if it did the work itself.

Not that there isn’t good reason to be scared, but the map is misleading in that the planes are not to scale.  A couple of them look like they’re three times the length of the runways at EWR.

How long in a cell does he last before he flips?

Yet another entitled asshole telling you how easy it is to solve a problem he has literally no experience with. How are we not revolting already?

There are few things more infuriating than listening to someone tell you how easy it is to solve a problem they have absolutely no experience with.

Pelosi should just ... do nothing. Don’t respond. Don’t bring the resolution up for a vote.  Do everything else as business as usual and just fucking ignore him.  Above all, don’t give him an audience.  It’s the one thing he wants.  Don’t let him have it.

some in the Trump camp are hoping at least to prevent Rudy from making TV appearances because they’re worried he’s been drunk while representing the president on camera.

You know who’s not on TV spouting racist epithets at Native Americans or raping young girls?

In my experience, the people who talk the most about loyalty are the people who deserve it the least.

This woman is more tone deaf than my father singing “Happy Birthday” after a six-pack.

This the “I went to a majority black high-school” of the Republican Party.

“Concerning the evidence of collusion, of which there are not none, I shouldn’t say, ‘none’, I should say, ‘potentially none’, about crimes that may or may not have been committed, contrived or contingencied, I can catgegorically deny not ever having not heard no one make such non-remarks. And they aren’t illegal if…

I never did find out who Terry was and why it was so dangerous to diss him.

I never did find out who Terry was and why it was so dangerous to diss him.

Dipshit in a MAGA hat got confused for a racist? I can’t imagine how that could possibly happen.

Well, at least he didn’t wear a tan suit.