The sweepers can only prevent it from curling. They can’t make it curl more if it was thrown too hard.

The end of humanity will not come from a robot uprising so much as slowly being killed off by well-meaning but incompetent machines.

A man complaining the plate he loaned his neighbor was returned broken was met with the response, “I didn’t borrow your plate, it was broken when you gave it to me, and it wasn’t broken when I gave it back.”

We have two parties in our government: one that is completely unreasonable; and one that wants to reason with them.

Teaching people better critical thinking skills makes this all go away. But the owners of the country want a populace just smart enough to work the machinery but not able to question their lot in life.

The right likes to complain that the left is coming for their guns. Well, you know what, now we are. You refused to clean up you’re own fucking mess so we’re going to do it for you. I’m fucking done listening to your bullshit reasons why it can’t work. We’re going to try it anyway because this doing nothing bullshit…

It’ll happen less often,

One of the things I really like about hockey is that the refs understand that they aren’t the show. In general, they follow the three rules of being a referee: keep it safe, keep it fair, and don’t be a douchebag. I do not want to see the “entertaining penalty call” to become a thing.

For anyone in a hurry, absolutely nothing happens for the first half of the video.

Every language has its own names for places. It’s not just Los Estados Unidos doing it.

Considering who she was running against, yeah, she got her ass handed to her. It would be like the New York Rangers losing to a high school hockey team. That it was only by one goal wouldn’t be something to be proud of.

But most of her success is due to mother nature.

Dog shows are the fashion shows of the animal world.

The worst part about getting a standing desk is having to tell everyone you know about it.

The worst part about getting a standing desk is having to tell everyone you know about it.

TL;DR: Stop getting health advice from Facebook.

When these things are being marketed as “cleaner than paper towels”, you don’t get to say, “not all microbes are bad” to defend them, because the very same argument can be used to justify not washing your hands after using to the restroom in the first place.

Good luck with that. /r/showerthoughts was interesting and funny, for about five minutes. Then it became a place for people intentionally trying to be clever but weren’t. I predict /r/benignexistence will now devolve into a contest to see how mind-numbingly boring you can be. The top post will be a 10 hour video of…

Not owning a TV is so last year. Not being on Facebook is what all the cool people are doing.

Figure out how to make your money work for you.