If my worst enemy wants to write me a check for $17,000, I’ll take his fucking money if for no other reason than it’s $17,000 he doesn’t have to do evil shit, and I can use it to do good. It, in no way, means I owe him anything.

The guy really has a career in stand-up comedy when he leaves office.

“What he was referring to ...,” Kudlow said.

RMP is the Yelp of college professors.  

No, you keep the money and use it to undermine Fox.  “Fox is evil and we’re going to spend every cent of this donation to fight everything they stand for.”  Fuck ‘em.

What’s the over/under on how long before he insists we start calling him “Glorious Leader”? Whatever it is, I got a dollar on “under”.

That’s the face of a man who thinks he’s doing well with the bartender because she smiles uncomfortably when he hits on her instead of telling him to fuck off because she’s working.

It’s not interminable if played by the real rules

Yet another Trump cabinet member failing upwards....

My idea: replace Dancing with the Stars with literally anything else.

Patiently waiting for all these “Constitutional Conservatives” to get up in arms about their rights being infringed.

I don’t trust anything with an acronym that long and convoluted.

It’s a bird. Whether it’s a crow or raven is a red herring by the rabbit trolls trying to lay doubt (“how can you say it’s a bird when you don’t know what kind of bird it is?”) It’s the same argument the ammo-sexuals use trying to discount your position by arguing over what an “assault rifle” is. 

The more I hear him speak the more convinced I am that he’s one step removed from declaring himself “unanimously elected” emperor and re-naming the country “The Democratic People’s Republic Of The United (Under Trump) States Of Americaland”.

I’ll have the stall on the corner with the white hoods and robes for the people who forgot to dress up. 

I’m straight and I’d do him.

I got the biker. I already have assless chaps. Don’t ask.

Here’s the thing about doing something ironically: you’re still doing it. 

Cállate, tomate.

So, wait a minute, people watch “Dancing With The Stars”? It’s not a joke?