Is there a service where Bobby watches all of your television for you and serves up these kinds of recaps? Talk about a delightful time saver.

Going forward I’m going to tell everyone to shut the fuck up because I have too low a smoke point.

You know serious shit’s going on when you need to hide in the bushes because you don’t want to answer questions.

Oh man, I seriously hope someone robs that dude’s house and police officer is like “hey, you should be grateful someone thinks your stuff is nice enough to steal. Let’s leave it at that sweetcheeks.”

Clearly United’s PR guy quickly found new work.

The most heartbreaking part about this whole saga is that it may have forced a mediocre white tech dude to admit that he can’t do everything. I mean, can you imagine the pathos of that moment, when he realized that his misguided bravado and the penis swinging between his legs just weren’t enough anymore?

Do you think Iggy Azalea knows him?

And they’ll be like well you guys are so smart! And you’ll be fine.

This is some OT VIII levels of woo-woo.

Everyday, but I’m currently working at IBM in 1952.

*appreciative snort* I feel like you are trying a theme here with the news... hmmm.

If you accept a job that requires you to do X, then you must be willing and prepared to do X - because that is what the job entails.

That is the dumbest fucking comparison I can imagine. If they weren’t up to the job... they shouldn’t have taken the damn job. You should raise your standards for professional adults who understand what’s being asked of them and are being paid to do a set list of things.

WOULD HUG*.

They weren’t boo’ing him, they were saying Bbbbbbbbbb...ravo! - Kellyanne Conway

The GOP is finding that all those years of tolerating Jones and his stupid conspiracy theories have resulted in a Republican base that takes him seriously. It sucks for them because he’s helped nominate a candidate who is basically unelectable. But it sucks for the rest of us because we have to live in a country where…

“I don’t characterize [grabbing a woman by the genitals] as sexual assault. I think that’s a stretch.” - Jeff Sessions (R - AL)

So in other words: be bad at what you love doing and you’ll never work a day in your life because you’re banned by the government?

I feel like a 16 year old should be able to go to a party without getting raped.

Prison could have a “severe impact” on this young man’s life! Alcohol is the true culprit here, realistically.