HERE’S HOPING

I hate sororities and I hate this sort of thing and I hate myself for saying this but god DAMN if this shit isn’t impressive

But then he's less conspicuously Woke Bae

(this is perfectly legitimate and we’ve all thought this)

I Think You Are Right

for the love of crop tops and all they stand for

This is really, really incredible.

This is only alarming because I assumed you were a very mature very funny 30 year old

Cokey Dick

Your blame will arrive at my ears as praise and I will rejoice

This was so fucking excellent

For $100 million I would like in an actual bottle and not an I Dream of Genie lush sitch either

Help I want to collapse in on myself like a dying star whenever I encounter the most trite iand nsufferable phrasing for falsely-brave bitching that is “speak my truth”

IT/WE WOULD NEVER CAUSE HARM

Disciple I bless you for your loyalty

*HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSESSSSSSSSSSSSS*

That’s the thought behind candy canes so you can't be wrong

Truth bomb

HUSBAND, NOW?!?!? Congratulations!

Yes.