I just moved back after nearly two years in LA. I’m utterly fucked.

I’m from near Boston I’m allowed to mock both our strange fondness for cream-based seafood soup and also the weird way we say its name

*chowdah, you tourist

“I have no real political opinion because I’m uninformed and basically ambivalent. I’m ignorant and apathetic. Therefore, I should be free from scrutiny. Thanks!”

no it’s okay I’ve never had a nemesis before

I started reading his books when they first came out and stopped after maybe the fifth one when his identity was still a mystery and hadn’t really thought about him since tbh

see how he treats me

PAY NO ATTENTION TO FIGHTING POLISH

Sorceress.

Sorry main takeaway but we know who Lemony Snicket is now?!

Bad bitch h town

an unqualified yayyyyyyy

Never really understanding what Tracy Moore’s angle with this shit is - the answers are always really self-evident

THEY’RE COMING TO RAPE US AND TAKE OUR JOBS

MORE ALIENS TO KEEP OUT UGH THE MEXICANS WERE BAD ENOUGH

THAT WAS THE REFERENCE <3

No, I don’t support feminism. I support only this new, prettier, more profound conception of gender equality that I myself invented.

this is the appropriate response to this film.

At this point, I’d fuck Chrissy Teigen.