I’m not being cheeky I’m very serious why has Gawker Media not authorized you to purchase memberships to each website?!

your concluding that fragment with a period contributed a lot, I think

SAME LITERALLY SAME

(I need to tell you that for reasons I don’t totally understand I’m doubled over in hysterics [no etymology jokes plz] over here because this shit is HILarious)

nah still gold

“Ashley Todd, a volunteer for Republican John McCain’s campaign for US president, feigned a mugging by a six-foot-four black supporter of Barack Obama, even going so far as to cut the letter B into her own cheek. (The fact that the B was backwards, because she’d carved it while looking in a mirror, was the first clue…

aaaaaahhahahahahahah lolling super hard into my cocoa pops

mother. fucker.

which one?

get Twitter the gang’s all there

hip flexors < sexual appetite = frowny face

a monsoon of laugh-tears

-_______-

this has absolutely positively definitely not happened to me, but I really really sympathize

*wheezes* this has to win *collapses from inability to even* it has to win

I was hooking up with this guy once who was pretty all over the place emotionally but preternaturally gifted at sex-things (isn’t that always how it is.). No real dramatic story, but he gave me head with such remarkable skill that I came so hard that I chipped my left front tooth on his headboard. My head snapped…

I went to hippie kindergarten and we called our teachers by their first names. I then went to normal elementary school where it became clear that most adults found this egregiously rude.

damnit c’mon guys I’m eating cocoa pops