That can’t have kids....

I tried that when my wife walked in on me and the nanny...

I really thought that Trump would be the first Republican to use the C-word in this campaign cycle.

You call that writing? A Kardashian would read that and eye roll you for half-assing it.

Until someone thinks they are doing you a favor, picks it up and throws it away...

In-drawer knife block is the BEST solution.

In-drawer knife block is the BEST solution.

I assume that the 49'ers think that if Santa Clara is stupid enough to fund a stadium for wealthy team owners that they are stupid enough to not realize the 49'ers are cooking the books.

I’d kiss ya but I got puke breath!

This .gif should just be included with any post that has “Florida” in the body. Save us all a bunch of time trying to be the first to post it.

A crossing route will always be the most difficult of these situations to assess. A receiver with both feet off the ground should be given the most protection. A quick slant with receiver having both feet on the ground and a DB or LB already moving towards the receiver does deserve some amount of latitude towards the…

Took a ton of shit, but I called it.

They are racist, not stupid.

Because cheerleaders are always on the forefront of intelligent debate of social issues...

Oh, the memories. I used to date a Polish Chicago chick whose dad was a 20+ years beat cop in Wrigleyville. Loved going to games with him. He could blow past any lines at any bar, walk up to the bar and have shots and beers waiting for us in seconds. He would get shitfaced and then walk into traffic so he could chat…

If you are raiding your kid’s piggy bank for change, the coat hanger is a few years too late.

Note: This should only be done in a completely sketchy situation (assuming the piggy bank is for your child) like being two dollars short to your drug dealer or trying to appease a pissed off hooker that you short changed or to buy a loosie at the bodega.

Sorry, you are wrong. The correct answer is water shoes.

She was talking about the guy sitting next to her that wouldn’t stop talking about Trump and Crooked Hillary.

If I was Soylent, I would blame it on people using improperly cleaned blenders and contaminated mixing ingredients (bananas etc...).

He owed someone money for something...