I would definitely feel like I was dying, since I have an aversion to spicy foods.

I had no idea wasabi paste could send you to the ER.

unfortunately, NO

They would be lying if they did. Also, I would wonder why I was buying condoms.

This is the real reason mail order commerce is a thing.

So basically this dude feels like he can speak for all Catholics because he set up a newsletter and CNN decides he's the best person to speak to on this issue cuz the dude is an old rich white dude. Really stellar.

So they do this but they don't make double health bar crunch!?

I take offense to that, the the cloaca is necessary for life, the Donohue is not.

What a complete cloaca of a human being.

She might have some more than a little crazy opinions, but you know what? Good for her. She loves and is comfortable in her body. That's fantastic. Everyone who wants to snark at her for being happy with herself - regardless of how often she invokes God as the reason - should take a step back and examine their own…

Hoo boy ~ obviously I meant to say "Let's substitute the word 'hitting' for the word 'spanking' ", not the other way around. -:

I love how pro-spanking parents always change the word to "swat" when they talk about how they hit their kids. "We give little Billy a swat on the butt when he acts up and he's not a delinquent!" Like changing the word "spank" or "hit" to "swat" makes it all okay.

I was spanked as a kid. My step-father pulled out belts and had us bend over and get slapped. He'd count. He wanted us to cry. I never felt like it really hurt, but after I got over the shock of it I knew I had to pretend to be in pain or it would just piss him off more. My mom. Now she knew how to get through: guilt…

I feel like the classic example of "I don't spank EXCEPT" is smacking a kid's hand away from a hot stove. I definitely don't think that sort of think counts as spanking. Like, as an adult, I'm not going to charge someone with battery if they shoved me out of the way of a car that was about to hit me, ya know?

Let's substitute the word "spanking" for the word "hitting" in any story about spanking, and then see how people feel about it. Spanking = hitting someone who's smaller, powerless, and utterly defenseless against you, the adult in the situation. Spanking is the last resort of people who don't have the resources to…

9) They fail at the things you force them to do and don't allow you to vicariously live out your own failed dreams through them.

When my mom was little car seats didn't exist and she turned out just fine. I suggest that we ban all car seats forever!!

"Even if Ms. Faircloth was not truthful, vilifying discussion of sexual assault[...]" A case could be made that an advocacy organization implying that it doesn't matter whether serious accusations like this are true or not could also have the effect of vilifying discussion of sexual assault.

I saw a werewolf drinking a Piña Colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.