I'm glad I wasn't the only one who read this in Lahey's voice. The shit-barometer is rising, Bubs...

Now, he watches the show....Let me explain.

You're not alone — EVERYTHING about this experiment is creepy and upsetting to me! The sad orphan monkeys, the insane creepiness of the "mothers" (even the cloth one is spooky!), the weird film grain on the footage of the experiments — it just feels very Silent Hill.

Ugh, I had an elementary school teacher who would VIGOROUSLY scratch his balls, leaving very obvious chalkdust all over the front of his pants.

FINALLY. I've been waiting so long. Plain old Gatorade cannot keep up with the hydration needs of a champion level Bear Blaster.

In similar news, these bath salts are doing nothing for my skin!

Oh, I don't think that Taco Bell would ever actually serve chilaquiles. It'd be some weird perversion of the concept... I'm thinking it'd be the NEW Chicken and Egg FritoQuile CrunchTwist™ maybe?

Totally agreed! I know you're not going to get actual huevos rancheros or whatever but Mexican cuisine has a ton of well-known breakfast options you could take a run at. Migas? Chilaquiles? Those are already "food-flavored ingredient pile" (one of my VERY FAVORITE cuisines tyvm), you'd think they could make it…

Sorry you had to go through that procedure at a later age and I hope it successfully relieved the condition. I have zero idea whether it can be reliably noted at birth but I've known enough men in that position to say that the missed diagnosis isn't uncommon.

Yowza. Sorry to get personal but was this done as a corrective procedure? I have a friend who was circumcised at 15/16, but it wasn't an aesthetic choice — he actually took a soccer cleat to the foreskin and the options were limited so they removed it. That was due to injury but I know men have had it done later in…

I've had partners with readhesion-related appearance issues that they were quite self-conscious about. Circumcision itself definitely comes with risks that could persist through the child's life. I find that these common, though not debilitating, situations are often left out of this discussion.

I will never be Executive Director of Alcohol Justice. And like that, dreams I never knew I had come crashing down.

I know I'm REALLY LATE with this. But.

My favorite thing about this book cover is that it appears the microwave will be dining with her.

Pussy always makes me think of the Lords of Acid song, so yeah — totally stripped of any sexiness.

I assume that you have to do a full-on Al Pacino / Scent of a Woman impression when you say it. Preferably with spittle-flecked lips and the whole nine yards.

People who can do this type of crazy shit with liquid liner are more magical than Gandalf in my book.

Black licorice, especially the glorious soft Australian type, will get you some exquisite jade-green/black poos.

Can I just? For one moment?

Man, isn't that the truth. You can file for workman's comp — once — better make it worthwhile because you'll never work in a restaurant again...