My mother insisted on putting “cocktail attire” on our invitations.  I asked her to define what that meant and she said “everyone will know.”

I am not trolling. Steely Dan sucks shit. Assuming that you’re right (which you’re not) that they are technically genius and lyrically profound, the music is BORING. . Technical genius means fuck all if the music doesn’t sound good. 

Steely Dan is really great music music that definitely doesn’t make me want to shove an ice pick in my ear.

EAT SHIT

You were clearly dropped on your head as a small child

Donald Fagan might be a genius because only a genius could write such complex arrangements that sound like boring yacht rock bullshit. Springsteen and Billy Joel probably aren’t as talented as him musically but I’ll listen to either of them 1000 times before I’d listen to a single note of a steely dan song. 

Dirty work is great only when Tony Soprano sings it

Tom Sawyer is an ok song and the drummer whips ass but overall Rush blows. So I guess what I’m saying is that I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL 

This song’s appearance in the Sopranos is literally their only redeeming quality.

It’s too late. In your universe, your brain was damaged by ingesting excessive audible shit and no one will understand your shit music because it is shit and then you die (fire optional but preferred)

I just noticed that Yes and Rush are included in this list and THEY FUCKING SUCK TOO

Hey let’s not say things about Billy Joel that we can’t take back. 

This is a good policy 

It is not irrational. Hating bad music is extremely rational. Also, Rush blows goats.  

I’m talking about in your universe, where nobody knows Steely Dan and nobody has had their shit sucking twee over-produced nonsense jammed through their ears by disc jockeys who are required by station managers and record companies to put lipstick on a pig and try to sell it. In a world where nobody knows Steely Dan,…

Which would have closed after one night of Steely Dan sucking shit all over the stage.

This is an excellent take.  Sometimes your brain can’t help associating things together and I imagine that Peg must’ve been pretty amazing to warrant a good association with such a shit sucking band.  Also, you are correct: RUSH BLOWS GOATS (Tom Sawyer is an ok song though). 

Sucking ass gives them too much credit. Some people like sucking ass. Steely Dan sucks shit. Nobody likes that except people with obvious mental disorders.

That movie would end with the one guy who remembers shitty overly complicated soulless prog rock dying alone and it will be a happy story because then all trace of Steely Dan (who SUCK SHIT) will be gone from this earth.