My uncle was a very good paint and he watched Bob Ross all the time and painted along with him.  The average person could not do that. 

“I would never do anything that would tarnish the reputation of the Brown family and the Bengals organization if I didn’t believe in the person and know the person inside and out.”

An HOA is a totalitarian regime that you enter into willingly

What is a cheesebutt?

They could just forfeit all 16 games and save everyone all the trouble.  As an added bonus, this gives Deadspin a whole year to think up how to make Gruden even more red. 

This is the worst take in the history of Kinja

Yo my boy who kicks a guy on the ground and then puts his hood up to block his face and runs off is wicked smaht.

This is a good explanation as any for the mad pooper

They sold 80 million records and that’s pretty much it. 

The Knicks are the Jets of the NBA

I worked at Starbucks for 5 years. There are so many if these goddamn people that you’d lose your mind if you knew how many were out there. 

Can’t wait for the Knicks to sign Carmelo Anthony to a max deal this summer. 

Nixon was also from southern california. 

I demand that Barry appear on the deadcast and defend his terrible takes. 

Barry, I demand that you appear on the deadcast and defend your awful food takes. 

If you have to read six books to appreciate beer, you’re doing it wrong 

You didn’t right EAT SHIT in this entire blog.  The hospital’s changed you man.

Good move by the Pelicans.  I’m sure all the players want to go to a franchise that rats out its players. 

My question is if Trump makes Jared look at him naked. Like does Trump go all LBJ and make Jared watch him shit?

Many of your basketball takes are butt, but you nailed the voice of the Knicks fan right there.