Strange coincidence that top players seem to flee from teams coached by Tortorella.

Isn’t that some kind of tampering?

We had one in my house in the 80s and I loved it. Ours had a little cup on top specifically to put butter in it and melt it from the rising heat. 

Don’t propose on holidays (even Hallmark holidays like V day) and/or birthdays. An engagement ring is part of a contractual arrangement. The proposer transfers ownership of the ring in consideration of the proposee’s promise to marry at a later date.  If the engagement doesn’t work out, the proposer should get the…

This is the first list published by Deadspin that doesn’t fill me with murderous rage.  Congratulations. 

I need to meet the writers who voted for Jeff Kent and then punch them

I was visiting my friend at Valpo and he took me for a drive south into Jasper County. We drove through a small town called Kouts. As you drive into the town center, you encounter a small cafe called the Kouts Koffee Kup.  Oof.

Arizona is the Florida of the West. Ohio is the Florida of the midwest. Maine is the Florida of the North.  

Why “died by suicide” and not “committed suicide”?

Gotta break out the Tarkanian-era UNLV amoeba defense. 

Pineapple is not on this list. Which pleases me because pineapple is trash.

His defense and penalty kill were way underrated, but I always felt that he should have used his size and strength more around the net during the playoffs. It always seemed like he was trying to snipe, but he’s a big dude who needed to assert himself more physically during the playoffs. 

He pulled some shit against Derek Stepan in the playoffs (I think 2013?), where he challenged Stepan to a fight during the play in the Rangers’ offensive zone and when Stepan dropped his gloves, he skated off. 

In related news, the KKKardinals have contracted with the Girls Scouts to provide Thin Mints for their concession stands. 

If only Marchand and Wilson would punch each other until they were both unconscious, things would be better.  Though Marchand’s too much of a coward for that.

It takes a lot of shit for brains to make Ryan Tanehill worse

They make it down your toilet, but they have too much tensile strength for the grinders to break down which causes blockages. 

As someone who works in the wastewater treatment industry, I must say that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FLUSHABLE WIPE

One of my favorite things in sports is when an all-time great is regularly and inexplicably owned by some replacement-level or worse player.

Megadoodoo is just another way of saying Great Moments In Poop History