Not only does he look like a baby that is also a grandfather, but his ex-wife alleges that he assaulted her, threatened to kill her, used drugs around their child (and left them within the child’s reach), and fired a gun in the house while the child was there.

Relatedly, did you know it’s possible to throw up so hard and for so long that your abdominal muscles hit the total exhaustion point and you lose the ability to get up off the bathroom floor for almost an hour, which really sucks if you’re home alone and still have to vomit? Neither did I! Did you know that my…

Eh, it depends. If they have a very long torso, thick abs, and/or hyperemesis gravidarum, even a very thin person can hide a first pregnancy for a decent amount of time. (I announced at five months in my pre-pregnancy jeans and a slim-fitting shirt and was met with extreme confusion and disbelief. I wasn’t showing…

Depression is when your thoughts are so thick and heavy that you can’t even get out of bed, plus greasy hair.

Ooh! Ooh! I know this one! A vampire facial is when they extract the client’s blood, spin out the plasma-rich platelets, poke hundreds/thousands of tiny holes in their face, and then slather the client’s own plasma on the skin to absorb through the tiny holes.

Seriously, I am okay, and I feel really lucky to be so. (FWIW, I live across from Staten Island. Four of my friends have lost relatives to covid (so far), and my boss—who rocks—is sick and worried it’s covid. I’m below the poverty line, and so are most of my friends and family. My husband is a healthcare worker at a…

Seriously, I am okay, and I feel really lucky to be so. (FWIW, I live across from Staten Island. Four of my friends…

“...so if you’re strapped for time (and, to be honest, nowadays you really shouldn’t be)...”

“...so if you’re strapped for time (and, to be honest, nowadays you really shouldn’t be)...”

I... huh? Jane Goodall rocks. I’d gladly listen to someone discuss Earth Day who has a PhD in ethology, has decades’ worth of field work and impressive publications under her belt, has been advocating for care and compassion for the natural world since before it was cool, and is a goddamn UN Messenger of Peace.

Compassion is always glamorous. 

Compassion is always glamorous. 

Food and rent. I live in a high cost-of-living area and—even though it’s a modest apartment—a stimulus check won’t even cover one month’s rent. And since I freelance part-time in a non-recession-proof industry, I won’t be surprised if my job goes kaput before the economy opens up.

Food and rent. I live in a high cost-of-living area and—even though it’s a modest apartment—a stimulus check won’t…

I like the notion of playrooms, because I want my kids to feel like they can play and explore without adult oversight or interference. (Please note: I do not have a playroom, nor do I have anything approaching space for a playroom!) But we do keep toy “zones” in our house — one in her bedroom and another in the family…

Taking a stance for or against a particular sex act, as it applies to your sex life? Sure, fine, whatever. Establish those personal boundaries and reinforce ‘em!

I googled, and you’re totally right--turning four at the end of this month. 

Eh, my mom’s house is less than half that size and that setup would fit just fine in hers. Then again, hers is long and thin-ish with very tall ceilings.

William’s and Harry’s performances are fucking inspired. And I love Eugenie and Beatrice.

(Whispers) But Dr. Frankenstein was the monster. His creation was merely a Creature.

Kourtney is consistently the most stylish of the sisters. Always has been, apparently always will be.

Goshdarnit, Shang didn’t exploit his power over Mulan to force her into a relationship (upon finally discovering that she was a woman, of course) — he left her to die in the snow, ‘cause he was a military commander and she’d broken the law. (And given that he was supposed to execute her for that sort of betrayal,…

Dunno, but the Sally Hansen one is awesome. I bruise easily and badly—usually a dozen or more extremely noticeable bruises at any given time on my legs—and that spray-can pantyhose made me legs look awesome whenever I had an event for which showing legs (and caring how they look) made sense (a competition, a formal…

Cocaine’s a helluva drug.