More guns, tho. Also, no income tax. Also, you can legally drive your uninsured car naked in the woods.

New Hampshire is the weirdest state. It’s like the unholy lovechild of a LL Bean catalog and a Stephen King novel.

This picture describes my dating life right now.

One of my last semesters in college I had let my roommate talk me into renting an apartment at a really weird apartment complex in Austin called the Metropolis which was painted psychedelic colors and housed a lot of artistic and obviously drug friendly people. I was a middle class kid from a small town and a huge…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Ok, so this whole thing started after a bad breakup (natch. He broke up with me by telling me hid new girlfriend had "eyes like the sea after a storm" I know where that's from motherfucker! I know." So a bunch of my friends take me out for drinks and dancing, and one of them is dating one of the party bus drivers and…

My first semester of law school, final exams. I was so stressed, I wasn't eating. In fact, I weighed less then than I had since middle school.

I usually keep all my emotions in check (to my detriment, probably), so when it comes out IT COMES OUT

i have my own spot on a couch, nobody else allowed to sit there. I won't share my wine unless you bring food. I like going to movies and theater and travel alone.

Sometimes I steal my dog's valium.

Or just start growling and barking at the doctors office, I bet you'll leave with some medication!

I explained to my doctor that she gives me something for my anxiety or I start smoking heavily to deal with it. I now have a daily medication and a script for Xanax as necessary.

"So man that really sucks for you bro"

WHAT IS THIS STOCK IMAGE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Is de shoes.

A) You're taking this entirely too personally.

Okay, I can understand your aversion to our fabulous pizza because of your strange feelings regarding tomatoes, but DO NOT disparage the Chicago style hotdog. I've been stuck in Wisconsin for the last 20 years where no one can get it right and it's impossible to find sports peppers.

This one is actually my dad's story. So, my dad likes to drink Manhattans occasionally. My dad also sometimes likes to have a Perfect Manhattan, a standard variation on a Manhattan with equal parts dry and sweet vermouth rather than just sweet. It's not an unusual request.